Some people think that there could be more benefits to society if more people study business than history. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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Introduction

In recent years, the topic of whether individuals should study

business

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history

Use synonyms

has emerged as a significant concern for the general public.

While

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some people contend that learning

business

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offers more advantages to

society

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than studying

history

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, I maintain that

history

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is equally important in social development.

This

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essay will elucidate these differing perspectives.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, it is essential to acknowledge the significant advantages associated with engaging in

business

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programs. A crucial consideration is that

business

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education promotes economic growth, which highlights that students learn how to manage, market,

financial

Correct word choice

and financial

show examples

skills.

For example

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, it is noteworthy that people with a background in

business

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may establish their own companies, create employment opportunities and contribute to economic growth.

In addition

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, another important point to emphasise is that

business

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-related skills are valuable in modern

society

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This

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due to

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the fact that employers need workers who have quality specialised knowledge and help the company remain and grow.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, it is crucial to consider the significant benefits of learning

history

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. A significant factor to explore is that

history

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plays a pivotal role in protecting culture and traditional values, which underscores that studying the past enables people to understand their cultural and traditions, and introduce their country to the world.

Furthermore

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, it is essential to highlight that studying

history

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opens the gateway to broaden horizons and widen cultural knowledge.

This

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assertion is supported by the fact that students can learn about their country's cultural heritage and understand how historical events have shaped modern

society

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Conclusion

In conclusion,

although

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studying

Business

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can promote economic growth and create employment opportunities, I firmly believe that

History

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is equally important for social development. Both subjects offer distinct benefits and should be encouraged to ensure a well-rounded and prosperous

society

Use synonyms

quynhtranhbh

Oct 12, 2026

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task response

Make your view clearer from the start. You say history is equally important, but the question asks if business gives more good to society. State clearly that you disagree, or partly disagree, and keep this view in every main part.

task response

Develop each main idea more. Explain exactly how business study helps society, such as by helping new firms make good plans, use money well, and give jobs. Then explain how history helps society make better choices by learning from past events.

task response

Use a more real example. The example about people starting companies is relevant, but it is general. Add one clear case, such as a small business owner who hires local people, or a past war that shows why peace is important.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, business, history, and ending. To make the flow stronger, link the two body parts more directly. For example: “However, social progress is not only about money and jobs.”

coherence and cohesion

Avoid repeating the same long opening words, such as “it is essential to” and “a significant factor.” Use shorter, more direct topic sentences. This will make your ideas easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Improve a few unclear sentences. For example, change “manage, market, financial skills” to “manage money, market products, and plan finances.” Also change “help the company remain and grow” to “help companies survive and grow.”

task response

You answer both sides of the topic and give a clear final view that both subjects are important for society.

task response

Your main ideas are relevant: business can support jobs and growth, while history can protect culture and help people understand the present.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is easy to follow because each body paragraph focuses on one subject, and the conclusion returns to your main view.

coherence and cohesion

You use linking words such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” in suitable places.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Entrepreneurship
Economic growth
Practical skills
Employment opportunities
Consumer awareness
Global markets
Cross-cultural communication
Cultural awareness
Critical thinking
Historical perspective
Balanced approach

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Some people think that there could be more benefits to society if more people study business than history. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable

Some people say that the only reason for learning language is in order to travel ro or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens’ health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?