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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the country side What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve the situation?

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Introduction
Young
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The young
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 community is moving toward cities and towns , leaving
old
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the old
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 population in the village. It brings many problems.
Body paragraph 1
The population in cities are increasing day by day. More
public
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people
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 come here to settle there for facilities
such
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 as jobs , hospitals and easy access to many resources.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 brings many problems in the countryside . Young community want successful careers and jobs
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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the
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old nation wants to stay in their comfort places .
This
Linking Words
 creates a huge distance between family members. As we all know, the countryside
land
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apply
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is a rich source of agriculture that gives us food . If all persons with stamina leave the village , it affects the income from cultivation and affects the agricultural land by leaving it without care. Old
society
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societies
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 are not able to handle much work on their own . It brings issues on a large scale . Another issue is becoming alone at
old
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an old
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 age . When the children move toward cities to build their careers,
than
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then
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 the old ones have to
spent
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spend
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 life with much trouble if they are alone without any support.
Conclusion
The solution for
this
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 problem is to give facilities to the countryside areas so young family live there . Support the agricultural system on a bigger scale. Make hospitals , roads and schools so that
young
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the young
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 crowd don't have to leave their homes . Another good approach for solving
problem
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the problem
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 is to work from home .
This
Linking Words
 situation could be solved by doing these few changes by the government and the institutions .

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task response
You answer both parts: the problems and the ways to solve them. Add a short ending that brings your main ideas together.
task response
Explain each main point more fully. For example, say how less farm work can lead to less food and less money for village families.
task response
Give one clear real-life example, such as an old couple who cannot work on their farm or get to a hospital.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer four-part plan: opening, problems, solutions, and ending. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with a clear main idea. For example: “One major problem is the lack of young workers in farming.”
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words to show the order of ideas: “First”, “Also”, “As a result”, and “To solve this problem”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for key groups. Use “young people”, “older people”, and “rural areas” instead of changing them to unclear phrases such as “young community” or “old nation”.
task response
You give important problems: family members are far apart, farms may not get enough work, and older people may be alone.
task response
Your solutions are on topic: better hospitals, roads, schools, and more help for farming can help young people stay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear move from problems to solutions.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful links, such as “On the other hand” and “Another issue”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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