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Band 6

The table below shows information about spending on health in five different countries in 2002.

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The table below shows information about spending on health in five different countries in 2002.
The given table compares the proportion
about
Change preposition
of
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 expenses on health in five different nations in the
separate
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
year 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the USA had the highest fractions in two out of three figures,
whereas
Linking Words
Germany
Use synonyms
 represented the largest share in public spending. It is
also
Linking Words
 evident that
Japan
Use synonyms
 and Italy had the same pattern in terms of
public
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the public
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. In detail, the share of
Japan
Use synonyms
 in total spending accounted for 20% in 2002, compared with 25% for Italy.
However
Linking Words
, there was a slight difference of 5
percentage
Use synonyms
 points between
France
Use synonyms
 and
Germany
Use synonyms
 in total expenses, at 30% and 35%, respectively. The figure for the USA,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 recorded the greatest
percentage
Use synonyms
 at 40% in total.
Likewise
Linking Words
, there was no difference between
Japan
Use synonyms
 and Italy in public spending, both of each stood at 10%, respectively.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend, the figure for
France
Use synonyms
 came in 15%,
while
Linking Words
Germany
Use synonyms
 was higher than
France
Use synonyms
 by 3
percentage
Use synonyms
 points, at 18% in 2002.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the USA stood at 17% for public spending,
while
Linking Words
 in private expenses the proportion was the
utmost
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
, at 20%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there was a noticeable difference of 3
percent
Replace the word
percentage
 points in terms of private spending between
Japan
Use synonyms
 and Italy, at 5% and 8%, respectively.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
France
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 registered 12%
much
Punctuation problem
, much
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 lower than
Germany
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
, which
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 accounted for 18%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "likewise, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words germany, japan, percentage, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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