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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
There is no denying that courage is important in a person's
life
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.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that taking
risks
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 is considered a vital thing in both professional and personal
life
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, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In
this
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 essay, I will
analyze
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analyse
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 the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 topic.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, taking
risks
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 is considered a main way for development, and discovering several opportunities in
life
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 and work.
Risks
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 can sound difficult for some people, but once you
will
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apply
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do it
,
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apply
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 and overcome the fears of what may result from taking that risk, you
wil
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will
 see huge differences.
For instance
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, some people decide to stay at their jobs even if they are not satisfied, as they are
being
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apply
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afraid to leave their jobs, and see other alternatives. But some of them will take that risk, even
that
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though
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 they are not sure about the future,
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however
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because
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,
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apply
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 they see that there are other options to consider.
As a result
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, they find very satisfying jobs, and they become
more happy
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happier
.
Body paragraph 2
Taking
risks
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 has many benefits and
positive
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a positive
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 impact on a person's
life
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,
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;
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 these benefits outweigh the disadvantages. I
belive
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believe
this
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 is a skill, and you can improve it throughout your
life
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.
However
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, some people find it really hard, and think that
may
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it may
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 have a negative
impacts
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impact
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. As they believe that everything in
the
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apply
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life
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 should be well planned.
However
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, no one will see the advantages if he/she does not try.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that taking
risks
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 has many positive aspects that outweigh the disadvantages.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first paragraph. Say that the good points are greater than the bad points, then keep this view in all parts of the essay.
task response
Give a full paragraph about the bad side of risk. For example, a person may lose money, time, or a job when a risk does not work. Then explain why the good side is still greater.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and an example. Your job example is useful, but explain more about why the new job made the risk worth it.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, good points, bad points and why good points are greater, then conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and join many ideas with commas. Make shorter sentences so the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “however”, “for example”, “as a result”, and “in conclusion” can show the path of your ideas. Do not repeat the same idea in the second body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main point. The second body paragraph repeats that risk has benefits, but it should add the disadvantages and your reply to them.
task response
You answer the main question and give a clear overall view that taking risks can bring more good than harm.
task response
The example of leaving an unhappy job is relevant and helps show how taking a risk can lead to a better life.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, so it has a clear basic shape.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as “To begin with”, “For instance”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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