The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.”

In
this
technological era, children are so into smartphones and electronic gadgets that they are not physically active anymore.
As a result
, they have become more obese and the rate of obesity has risen exponentially among children.
Hence
, kids nowadays could suffer from various illnesses related to obesity. In the following paragraphs, I am going to analyze the root causes and effects of
this
.
Firstly
, the main cause of
this
is, of course, a neglect of parents, when they spoil their kids by giving them what they want and not encouraging them to do sports.
Therefore
,
due to
this
neglect, they are most likely to suffer from eating disorders.
Secondly
, with easy access to the internet, people tend to surf the web for hours, considering children have a lot of free time, it can
last
for days without any possible physical activity.
For example
, it is clear from new research that kids nowadays prefer online interaction
instead
of a real one,
hence
they lack outdoor activities.
As a result
of
this
problem, they might face serious illnesses and have to struggle with them their entire lives.
Furthermore
, if they chose to procreate with others, they would bear a lot of unhealthy babies, meaning a large proportion of the population would be unhealthy in some way and
this
vicious circle would lead to incapable youth that would not be able to provide themselves with basic needs without the help of their parents. In conclusion, considering all the previously mentioned information, it would be reasonable to assume that we should deal with
this
problem right now,
while
it has not become huge.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
You should focus on ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically. Sentences within paragraphs should be clearly connected to each other with appropriate use of linking words and phrases. For seeking improvements in this area, practice writing topic sentences for each paragraph and structuring the supporting sentences in a way that progresses the argument or description clearly. Remember, coherence is about how well paragraphs connect to each other as well as how sentences connect within a paragraph.
task achievement
Responding to all parts of the task is critical for a higher score. Make sure you address both causes and effects directly, providing analysis and specific examples for each. Each aspect should be explored in adequate depth, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic. You could do this by expanding on the arguments you provide, offering clear and direct responses to the 'causes' and the 'effects' of the situation with more substantiated claims and evidence or examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overweight
  • obesity
  • caloric intake
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical education
  • nutritious
  • psychological well-being
  • self-esteem
  • socioeconomic
  • healthcare system
  • life expectancy
  • obesity-related complications
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