IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons for this development? Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

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Introduction
It has been noticed that ,in some nations , conciving in elder age
prefered
Verb problem
is preferred
show examples
 by many couples
.
Punctuation problem
,
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which have multipul reasons
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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most
Add an article
the most
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prominet
Correct your spelling
prominent
one
Use synonyms
 is that they want to put more efforts on their career and want to enjoy their young
life
Use synonyms
 period.
According to
Linking Words
 me, there are more
demerit
Check wording
demerits
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 of
this
Linking Words
 notion.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, from the list of
reasons
Punctuation problem
reasons,
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 most primilary
one
Use synonyms
 is
that,
Correct word choice
apply
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preference to career. In the era of
inflamation
Correct your spelling
inflation
,
mostly
Rephrase
almost
show examples
 everybody understood the importance of making money and having well settled career. To
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 that, start making
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 choices and having more
emfhasis
Correct your spelling
emphasis
 on
acheiving
Correct your spelling
achieving
 goals without any
disreactions
Correct your spelling
distractions
 is really important.
because
Capitalize the word
Because
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
, young
couple
Correct subject-verb agreement
couples
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 prefer not to have
childrens
Replace the word
children
 so that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 they do not have any other responsibilities
along with
Linking Words
 that to control the
expensive
Replace the word
expenses
 which gonna come
along with
Linking Words
newborn
Add an article
a newborn
show examples
 baby
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
dipers
Correct your spelling
diapers
,toys,feeding
poducts
Correct your spelling
products
, medical expensives and many more.
Other
Correct determiner usage
Another
show examples
 reason which is
realated
Correct your spelling
related
 to before mentions prospective it by having control
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
 expenditure
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 not having
Add an article
a baby
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baby
Punctuation problem
baby,
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 they want to enjoy their
life
Use synonyms
 by living
wealthy
Add an article
a wealthy
show examples
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 and spend money on
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
instead
Linking Words
 of another human being.
Conclusion
Moving forward to disadvantages,
during
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 thinking about other prospectives most of male and
female
Check wording
females
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 often ignore the
drowback
Check wording
drawbacks
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 of
this
Linking Words
,
Add a semicolon
;
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 first and foremost
Use synonyms
one
Punctuation problem
, one
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 is
,
Correct determiner usage
the
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 realisation of
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of having childern in late in
life
Use synonyms
 .
while
Linking Words
 they lose the ability
of having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 by natural process
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they decide to choose alternatives
such
Linking Words
 as medical artificial
inteligence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
. Which can be highly
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
 for them in some cases because they
gernally
Correct your spelling
generally
 lose their
emunity
Correct your spelling
immunity
 to fight back from the side effects heigh doses of medicine
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 they need to
intake
Verb problem
take
show examples
along with
Linking Words
 that.
other
Fix capitalization
Another
show examples
 demerit is that,

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task response
Answer both parts fully. You give reasons and say that the bad points are stronger, but the essay stops before you explain all bad points and has no ending.
task response
Give a clear main idea for each body part. Explain why work, money, and free time lead people to wait, then explain both good and bad results of waiting.
task response
Add at least one clear good point before you decide which side is stronger. For example, older parents may have more money, a home, and more time to care for a child.
task response
Use real and careful ideas. Do not say medical help is always very dangerous. Say that it can be hard, costly, and may not work for all people.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction, reasons, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. This will make your answer easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Finish each paragraph with a full point. The last paragraph ends in the middle of an idea, so the reader cannot understand your full view.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links such as “First”, “Another reason”, “However”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”. Do not use long sentences with many ideas joined together.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the first body paragraph, work, costs, and enjoying life are all linked, but each needs a clear order and more detail.
task response
You have a clear view that the bad points of having children later are stronger.
task response
You give relevant reasons, such as building a career, saving money, and enjoying life before having a child.
coherence and cohesion
You try to guide the reader with phrases such as “To begin with” and “Moving forward to disadvantages”.
coherence and cohesion
Your first paragraph has a main focus on why couples may wait before having children.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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