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Band 6.5

The internet is an amazing invention which has impacted on the world. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
The world has greatly changed, and technology is a huge reason for
this
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. The
internet
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 has produced unlimited positives for society.
However
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,
along with
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this
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, there are some negatives.
This
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 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of the
internet
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the
internet
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 has several advantages. First,
people
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 can find any type of information.
For example
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, students can do research for their projects.
In addition
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, students can learn new skills through online courses.
Second,
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the
internet
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 is amazing for communication.
For instance
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,
people
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 can contact family and friends by sending email messages.
Also
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, many young
people
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 post messages and pictures on social media applications
such
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 as Instagram and TikTok.
Finally
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, it is tremendous for entertainment. Everybody loves playing video games with their friends.
Also
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, watching movies and listening to music are
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also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
popular.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the
internet
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 has some disadvantages.
First,
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it allows
people
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 to become lazy.
Moreover
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,
this
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 is a serious health issue, which might result in obesity.
This
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 lack of activity has created unhealthy
people
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.
Second,
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many use it in the worst way possible.
For example
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, cybercrime and hacking are common and dangerous.
Also
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, teenagers use it to bully and insult their peers.
Finally
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, the
internet
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 is a tremendous waste of time. Many
people
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 spend countless hours online and avoid living in the real world. There is a lack of time spent with family and friends.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is easy to understand that the
internet
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 has provided numerous advantages.
However
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, it must be noted that it
also
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 created some disadvantages.

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Task response
You answer both parts of the task. To make your ideas stronger, explain each main point more fully. For example, say how online study helps students, or how too much time online can harm family time.
Task response
Some ideas are very wide, such as “any type of information” and “everybody loves”. Use more careful words, such as “a great deal of information” and “many people”. This makes your writing more true and clear.
Task response
Your examples fit the topic, such as online courses, email, cybercrime, and bullying. Add one short, clear result after each example so the reader can see why it matters.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, good points, bad points, and ending. Keep this plan in future essays.
Coherence and cohesion
Each body part has three points. This gives good order, but the points move quite fast. Give one point, explain it, and then give an example before you move to the next point.
Coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “First”, “In addition”, “For example”, and “Finally”. Try not to use “Also” too often. You can join ideas with words like “because”, “so”, “while”, and “as a result”.
Coherence and cohesion
Make the last two sentences in the bad-points paragraph link more clearly. For example, explain that long hours online can mean less time for real talks with family and friends.
Task response
You give a full answer with clear good points and bad points about the internet.
Task response
You use useful examples from study, communication, fun, health, crime, and family life.
Coherence and cohesion
Your opening tells the reader what the essay will discuss, and your ending sums up both sides.
Coherence and cohesion
The main paragraphs are easy to follow because each one starts with a clear side of the topic.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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