Some people say that it is best to be loyal and to work for one company during one’s life. Others take the opposite view and say it is better to change jobs frequently in one’s life. Discuss these views and give your opinion.”

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Introduction
Many people have pointed out that working for one
company
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indicates your dedication and loyalty,
whereas
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others argue that you get multiple opportunities
while
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frequently changing
jobs
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. As both will be right
at
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in
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their own place. I will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
To embark upon, working for the same
company
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will give you a sense of freedom and a good environment . A
person
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can do things as per their need without having any interruptions , and they are free to take discussions on behalf of the
company
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.
Also
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,
this
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will foster the
promotion
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rate of an individual , and
this
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will bring more dedication towards work .
For instance
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, in the USA,
a
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apply
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data showed that people who worked for the same
company
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were much higher than the others , and they retired with a sense of satisfaction.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, changing
jobs
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frequently
also
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opened the gate for great opportunities and a new environment, more knowledge ,
skills
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and practical hands. Sometimes switching
jobs
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will
bring to
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help
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enhance your
overall
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skills
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while
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dealing with different situations , and it will help in tackling these kinds of problems with a good technique. To epitomise , in Japan, people quit their current job for enhancement in their
skills
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and
promotion
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rate.
Moreover
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,
this
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will increase the chance of
promotion
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at a very early age and
also
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give a good amount of incentives and salary.
Conclusion
To recapitulate, it depends on
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person's
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a person's
show examples
ability what they choose . But, having the same
jobs
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will sometimes frustate
person
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and will
also
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close the gate for
further
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exploration.
Whereas
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, a
person
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who changes his job will be capable of getting to know about
skills
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and knowledge regarding multiple technique and
this
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will
also
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increase their chance for
promotion
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.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view at the end. However, make your view clear in the first paragraph too. Say which choice you think is better and why.
task response
Develop each main idea more fully. For example, explain why long work in one place can lead to trust, more pay, or a higher job. Then explain why job change can bring new skills and better work.
task response
Your examples are too general. The points about the USA and Japan need clear facts or a more direct example. Do not use unclear claims such as “a data showed”.
task response
Be careful not to repeat the same idea about promotion. Add other useful points, such as job safety, close work ties, new ideas, and the risk of moving too often.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make the first body part only about staying with one company and the second only about changing jobs.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to show the order of ideas: “First”, “In addition”, “However”, and “As a result”. Do not use link words where the next sentence does not clearly follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the meaning is not clear. For example, “free to take discussions on behalf of the company” does not clearly support the point about staying in one job.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending shorter and more direct. State your choice, give one main reason, and avoid adding several new points at the end.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain the good side of staying with one company, the good side of changing jobs, and your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to see as four main parts: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This gives the writing a clear overall shape.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful signposts, such as “On the other hand” and “To recapitulate”, to help the reader move through the essay.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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