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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that university students should study only subjects that will help nterested in. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
It is often argued that the higher education
institutes
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institutes'
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students
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 should
study
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subjects
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 related to their future
career
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,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that
students
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 should
study
Use synonyms
subjects
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according to
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 their
interest
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interests
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives before I
explaining
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explain
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 why I believe that
students
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 should learn academic
subjects
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those
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are helpful for their
career
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 prospects.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, some people believe that university
students
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 should
study
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 academic
subjects
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 related to
specific
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a specific
show examples
field
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because when
students
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 get the
knowledge
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 of specific academic disciplines
rather
Punctuation problem
, rather
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 than various
subjects
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.
This
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 can help them to become
professional
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professionals
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 in that specific
field
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. A good illustration of
this
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 is that when a physiotherapy student
focus
Correct subject-verb agreement
focuses
show examples
 on
subjects
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 related to rehabilitation, physical exercises and manual techniques. In the
future
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future,
show examples
 they
become
Verb problem
will become
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 a good physiotherapist because they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge
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 and understanding of their
field
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, others argue that
students
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 should learn a wide range of
subjects
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according to
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 their preferences. The main reason is that studying various
subjects
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help
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helps
show examples
 to broaden
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students
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students'
show examples
knowledge
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. As they have a
knowledge
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 of different perspectives
of
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on
show examples
 life and fields. A good example for
this
Linking Words
 is that medical
students
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Use synonyms
study
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studying
show examples
 psychology and communication skills is more beneficial in their
career
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because
knowledge
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 of both these
subjects
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them to understand the
patients
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patient's
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 problem better.
Therefore
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,
this
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help
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helps
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 the medical specialists to
treat better
Correct word order
better treat
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 their patients. I find the first view more convincing because in today’s
era
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era,
show examples
 there is tough competition in
job
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the job
show examples
 market. When
students
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 have better
knowledge
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 and understanding of their specific
field
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.
This
Linking Words
 can help them to get
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 easily
due to
Linking Words
 their theoretical and professional skills in that specific
field
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.
Conclusion
To encapsulate, some people argue that higher education institutes should encourage
students
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 to focus on
subjects
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 related to
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
field
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
students
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 should
study
Use synonyms
 various
subjects
Use synonyms
 which they
liked
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
 most. In my view,
students
Use synonyms
 should learn those academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 which are helpful in their future
Use synonyms
career
Check wording
careers
show examples
.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To improve, explain more fully why job skills may be more important than personal interest. Also show why the other view may not always work.
task response
Your examples are useful, but make them more exact. For example, say how psychology helps a doctor talk to a worried patient and choose better care.
task response
Be careful with the idea that students should study only career subjects. You can say that career subjects should be the main part, while a few other subjects can still be useful.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first view, second view, your view, and ending. Keep each main idea in one paragraph and start each paragraph with a clear first sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. For example: “This is because…”, “As a result…”, and “However…”. Do not begin too many sentences with “This can help”.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not complete or are hard to follow. For example, change “when students get the knowledge of specific academic disciplines rather than various subjects” to “Students can gain deep knowledge when they focus on one academic field.”
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and subject-verb agreement to make your links clearer: “students’ knowledge”, “subjects that are helpful”, “medical students who study”, and “this helps specialists treat patients better.”
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you present both views and clearly state your own view.
task response
The physiotherapy and medical examples are relevant and help explain your main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly shows the plan of the essay, and the final paragraph gives a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphs are well separated, and each one has a clear main topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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