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Band 5.5

Some people believe that university students should study only subjects that will help nterested in. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
It is often argued that
students
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 in higher education institutes should
study
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subjects
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 related to their future career,
while
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 others argue that learners should
study
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subjects
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according to
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 their
interest
Check wording
interests
show examples
.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining why I believe that
students
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 should learn academic
subjects
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 that are helpful for their career prospects.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, some people believe that university
students
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 should
study
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 academic
subjects
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 related to a specific
field
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.
This
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 is mainly because when
students
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 gain
knowledge
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 of specific academic disciplines, rather than various
subjects
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.
This
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 can help them to become professionals in that specific
field
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. A good illustration of
this
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 is that when a physiotherapy student focuses on
subjects
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 related to rehabilitation, physical exercises and manual techniques. In the future, they can become a good physiotherapist because they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge
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 and understanding of their
field
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, others argue that
students
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 should learn a wide range of
subjects
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according to
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 their preferences. The main reason is that studying various
subjects
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 helps to broaden
students
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’
knowledge
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. As they have a
knowledge
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 of different perspectives
of
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on
show examples
 life and fields. A good example for
this
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 is that medical
students
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 psychology and communication skills is more beneficial in their career.
This
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 is because
knowledge
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 of both these
subjects
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 helps them to understand the patients’
problem
Check wording
problems
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 better.
Therefore
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,
this
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 helps the medical specialists to treat their patients more effectively.
Body paragraph 3
I find the first view more convincing because in today’s era, there is tough competition in the job market. When
students
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 have better
knowledge
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 and understanding of their specific
field
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.
This
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 can help them to get
job
Add an article
a job
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 easily
due to
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 their theoretical and professional skills in that specific
field
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.
Conclusion
To encapsulate, some people argue that higher education institutes should encourage
students
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 to focus on
subjects
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 related to a specific
field
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,
while
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 others believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should
study
Use synonyms
 various
subjects
Use synonyms
 they like most. In my view,
students
Use synonyms
 should learn those academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 which are helpful in their future careers.

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task response
You discuss both views and give a clear opinion. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why job skills should come before personal interest. For example, say how focused study can help students meet the needs of real jobs.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but some need clearer detail. In the medical example, explain why psychology and communication are useful parts of a doctor’s work, not just subjects students may like.
task response
Be careful not to make the first view too narrow. You can say that students should focus mainly on career subjects, while still having some choice to study subjects they enjoy.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first view, second view, your view, and ending. Keep this plan, but make each main paragraph start with one clear main idea and then develop it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not complete, such as “when students gain knowledge of specific academic disciplines, rather than various subjects.” Join these ideas into full sentences so the link between ideas is easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. You use “This is because” and “Therefore” well, but some links are repeated. You can also use simple links such as “For this reason”, “As a result”, and “However” where they clearly show the connection.
coherence and cohesion
Make the subject agree with the verb in key sentences. For example, write “medical students who study psychology and communication skills are more likely to benefit in their careers.” This makes the meaning clearer.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you present both sides and clearly state which view you support.
task response
The physiotherapy example is useful and closely linked to the idea of study for future work.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly shows what the essay will do, and the final paragraph restates your view.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has a main point and an example, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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