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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, many people have to work longer time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What can employees do to make their life easier?

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Introduction
Nowadays, people are more
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
 than before
due to
Linking Words
 working longer
Use synonyms
time
Check wording
hours
show examples
. There are a number of reasons
respinsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for more
stress
Use synonyms
 in
employees
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I believe there are some solutions to make their
Use synonyms
life
Check wording
lives
show examples
 easier.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason for longer working
hours
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 and increased
stree
Correct your spelling
stress
 is the competitive job market. In a world where industries are striving to outperform
ecah
Correct your spelling
each
 other,
employees
Use synonyms
 feel compelled to
work
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 harder to achieve the targets set by their employers.
Additionally
Linking Words
, with the advancement of technology, the lines between
work
Use synonyms
 and personal
life
Use synonyms
 have blurred, making it more challenging for
employees
Use synonyms
 to disconnect from their
work
Use synonyms
 environment.
Body paragraph 2
Another factor contributing to extended
work
Use synonyms
hours
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 and
stress
Use synonyms
 is the rising cost of living, which forces
employees
Use synonyms
 to seek additional income sources, thereby extending their working
hours
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, organisational
structureshave
Correct your spelling
structures have
 become leaner,often requiring fewer workers to handle the same workload, which adds pressure on the existing workforce.
Body paragraph 3
To alleviate
stress
Use synonyms
 and make
life
Use synonyms
 easier,
employees
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 can
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 management by setting clear boundaries between
work
Use synonyms
 and personal
life
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.
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employees
Capitalize the word
Employees
show examples
 could
also
Linking Words
 implement flexible working
hours
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 and consider
work
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 form home to help
employees
Use synonyms
 manage their
time
Use synonyms
 more effectively. Encouraging regular breaks and fostering a supportive
work
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 environment can
also
Linking Words
significatly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 reduce
stress
Use synonyms
 levels.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 essay, I would like to say that companies should
also
Linking Words
 encourage some activities related to
stress
Use synonyms
 and
time
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 management for their
employees
Use synonyms
, which would ultimately help with
substantial
Add an article
the substantial
show examples
 growth of organisations.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. You give clear reasons for stress and ways to make life easier. To improve, give one short real or made-up example for each main idea. For example, show how a worker may answer work calls at night, or how a second job can reduce free time.
task response
Keep the focus on what employees can do. The idea that companies can offer flexible hours is useful, but it is not fully in the control of employees. Add actions workers can take, such as turning off work messages after a set time, planning tasks, asking for help, or taking walks during breaks.
task response
Explain the link between each reason and stress a little more. For example, say that a smaller team means each person has more tasks, less time to rest, and more fear of missing a deadline.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, reasons, solutions, and conclusion. Keep this clear plan. Start each body part with one main point, then explain it and add an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully to make the flow smoother. You already use words such as “Additionally” and “Furthermore”. You can also use “As a result”, “For this reason”, and “For example” to show cause and result.
coherence and cohesion
Make the solution paragraph more consistent. It starts with actions employees can take, but then moves to actions companies can take. You could divide these into two parts or clearly say that employees can ask their employers for flexible hours or work from home.
coherence and cohesion
Check small writing errors because they can slow the reader down: “responsible”, “stress”, “each”, “structures”, “leaner”, “significantly”, and “work from home”. Also begin “Employees” with a capital letter when it starts a sentence.
task response
You give several relevant reasons, including job competition, technology, high living costs, and smaller work teams.
task response
Your solutions are practical: clear work-life limits, time planning, flexible hours, breaks, and a helpful work place.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states that you will discuss both reasons and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has a clear topic, and the conclusion brings the essay to a close.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Competitive job market
  • High expectations
  • Advancement of technology
  • Blurring the lines between work and personal life
  • Cost of living
  • Additional income sources
  • Organizational structures
  • Lean workforce
  • Time management
  • Flexible working hours
  • Remote work
  • Work-life balance
  • Supportive work culture
  • Disconnect from work
  • Regular breaks
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