IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are having a graduation party next Sunday evening. You have invited over 25 people to celebrate in your garden, which may continue late into the night. Write a letter to the Chairman of the Housing Society. In your letter: Explain what will be happening Offer your apologies in advance Invite him to join the celebration

5.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Dear Sir/Madam, I'
m
Use synonyms
 writing you
this
Linking Words
 letter to ask for the possibility to organize my graduation feast
this
Linking Words
 weekend in my garden.
Firstly
Linking Words
, as I said
earlier
Punctuation problem
earlier,
show examples
 there will be a party
this
Linking Words
 Saturday, 17th of October, starting at 4 pm and
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 ending tomorrow morning. There will be my mates
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they will be approximately 25 of them coming to celebrate the achievement of my
Bachelor
Check wording
Bachelor's
show examples
 degree in Mechanical Engineering. At
this
Linking Words
 moment, we will enjoy food, dance and have fun.
Also
Linking Words
, I'
m
Use synonyms
 sorry I did not schedule my program in advance. On
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 whole, I'
m
Use synonyms
 not
this
Linking Words
 kind of person
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the problem is that the administration of my University programmed the graduation for
this
Linking Words
 week.
suprisingly
Correct your spelling
Surprisingly
, I just needed to reserve the location where it would be
organized
Change the spelling
organised
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
show examples
 you are not a friend of mine, I will like to invite you,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 you wish. It will be a pleasure for me if you come. I promise you
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 not regret. I'
m
Use synonyms
 looking forward
hearing
Change preposition
to hearing
show examples
 from you! Yours
Sincerely
Fix capitalization
sincerely
show examples
, Axel.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Say that more than 25 people will come, as this is part of the task. Make clear that the party may go late into the night.
task response
Ask for permission in a more direct way. The letter should also say sorry in advance for any noise.
task response
Use the date and time from the task. The task says next Sunday evening, but your letter says Saturday at 4 pm.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Use simple links such as “First”, “Also”, and “Finally” in the same way.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each part focused on one point. In the second part, explain the party and the people coming. In the next part, give your sorry for possible noise.
coherence and cohesion
Use more natural closing words: “I look forward to hearing from you.”
task response
You explain the reason for the party and invite the Chairman to come.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is easy to follow because you use separate parts for the party, your sorry, and the invite.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are polite and right for a formal letter.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • significant milestone
  • personal achievement
  • celebration
  • attendees
  • venue
  • advance apologies
  • inconvenience
  • noise level
  • parking arrangements
  • warm invitation
  • festivities
  • get to know
  • minimize disruption
  • considerate parking
  • neighborhood harmony
What to do next:
Look at other essays: