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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that a good diet and exercise are not necessary for a health and long life. What extend do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
More and more people think that a healthy
diet
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 and an active lifestyle are not important for being in good
health
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,
while
Linking Words
 other people disagree. From my perspective, I completely agree with the latter statement for two main reasons.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, there are several advantages to following a good
diet
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 and exercising. In fact, the primary benefit is strengthening and maintaining
muscles
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 to perform their tasks correctly. Strengthening functional
muscles
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 is achieved by stretching and relaxation.
Although
Linking Words
 they are exhausting and drain one's energy, you can observe that they positively affect
health
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 in the long term. A study conducted by the Global
Health
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Organization
Change the spelling
Organisation
show examples
 in 2025 concluded that 75% of an individual's muscle
health
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 is based on
diet
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 and 25% on exercise.
Therefore
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, a healthy
diet
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 and daily workouts are enhancing our functional
muscles
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.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
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, I firmly believe that an active lifestyle and eating healthy food have another advantage. What I mean is that they reduce the development of chronic diseases
such
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 as high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes.
Furthermore
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, a healthy routine eliminates the root causes of these kinds of diseases, like weak
heart
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muscles
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.
Moreover
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, the movement of blood throughout the body improves
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heart
Add an article
the heart
show examples
muscles
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.
For instance
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, running is a cardio workout that helps
in strengthening
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strengthen
show examples
 the
muscles
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 in the
heart
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, high-intensity workouts are able to
decline
Verb problem
decrease
show examples
 chronic disease rates.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I totally believe that following a healthy
diet
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 and exercising are the main factors for good
health
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 and a long life by strengthening both
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heart
Add an article
the heart
show examples
 and functional
muscles
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.

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task response
Your view is clear: you disagree with the idea in the question. State this more directly in the first line, for example: “I strongly disagree that diet and exercise are not needed for a healthy, long life.”
task response
Keep the focus on both good health and a long life. Your body talks mostly about muscles and disease, but it says little about how these habits may help people live longer.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear chain: healthy food or exercise, then a change in the body, then better health or a longer life. This will make your ideas more full and easy to follow.
task response
Be careful with facts that sound made up, such as the study and the 75% and 25% claim. Use a real source only if you know it is true. A simple life example is safer and often more helpful.
task response
Some claims need more care. For example, stretching and relaxation do not by themselves build muscle in the same way as strength exercise. Choose examples that fit your point well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, two body parts, and end. Keep this plan, but make the first sentence of each body part show the exact main idea.
coherence and cohesion
The first body part moves from diet and exercise to muscles, then to stretching and relaxation. Make the links clearer. You could separate food and exercise, or explain how each one helps muscles.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use too many link words in one part, such as “Furthermore”, “Moreover”, and “For instance”. Use one clear link, then explain the idea in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last line match all of the essay. It says diet and exercise are the main factors, but the body also needs to show clearly why they help people live longer, not only why they help muscles.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep the same view in the whole essay.
task response
You use two relevant main ideas: stronger bodies and lower risk of long-term illness.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to see as an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “First of all”, “In addition”, and “In conclusion” help the reader see the main stages of your answer.
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