IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Introduction
Converting traditional public
parks
Use synonyms
 and open spaces into
community
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gardens
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 where urban
residents
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 can cultivate their own produce is an increasingly popular urban planning initiative.
Although
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this
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 development offers certain benefits regarding food production and social interaction, I firmly believe that the disadvantages, particularly the loss of inclusive recreational space and severe management challenges, significantly outweigh these advantages.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, establishing
community
Use synonyms
gardens
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 in urban areas brings undeniable benefits. Cultivating fresh fruits and vegetables allows local
residents
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 to supplement their diets with nutritious, low-cost produce, which can alleviate financial strain for lower-income households.
Additionally
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, these agricultural projects foster a sense of
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 unity,
whereas
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 working together on communal
plots
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 provides educational opportunities for children to learn about environmental responsibility.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the drawbacks of replacing public
parks
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 with
gardens
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 are far more substantial. Primarily, public
parks
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 serve as vital green spaces designed for all members of the public, regardless of their interests or physical abilities.
However
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, transforming these open grounds into agricultural
plots
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 restricts access for non-gardening
residents
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 who rely on open
parks
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 for exercise, sports, or mental relaxation.
Furthermore
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,
community
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gardens
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 are notoriously difficult to maintain equitably over long periods. If individual
plots
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 are abandoned or neglected, they quickly turn into unsightly, weed-overgrown areas that attract pests and accumulate litter.
Consequently
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,
this
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 shift can degrade the aesthetic value of the
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
show examples
 and spark conflicts among
residents
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 over land allocation.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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community
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gardens
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 offer clear nutritional and social benefits, converting open public
parks
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 into dedicated farming
plots
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 deprives the wider
community
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 of essential, unrestricted leisure space and introduces significant management problems.
Therefore
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, the
overall
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 disadvantages of
this
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 initiative clearly outweigh its potential gains.

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task response
You answer the main question clearly and keep the same view from start to end. To make the answer stronger, add one short real-life example. For example, say how a garden in a busy area could help families buy less food.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: gardens can give food and bring people together, but parks are for everyone and gardens can be hard to care for. You could explain why a park cannot be easily replaced, such as by saying that children need space to run and older people need quiet places to sit.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. Each body part has one clear side of the discussion, and the ending matches your view. Keep using clear links such as “On the one hand”, “However”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long and carry many ideas. Break one or two of them into shorter sentences to make the meaning even clearer. Also, use simple word links when possible, such as “For this reason” or “As a result”.
task response
You give a clear answer that the bad points are greater than the good points, and you explain both sides fairly.
task response
The points about food, local ties, loss of park space, and poor care are all closely linked to the question.
coherence and cohesion
The four-part shape is very clear: opening, good points, bad points, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a natural order, and the final paragraph brings the main points together well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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