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Band 4.5

Some people argue that the primary purpose of natural resources, such as forests and rivers, is to support human development and economic growth. Others believe that it is essential to protect the natural environment and its wildlife, even if it restricts human activity and progress. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that the natural features may affect
to
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apply
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human improvement.
This
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 essay will discuss
about
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apply
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some
people
Use synonyms
 argue around the purpose of natural resources and the significance of protecting the natural
environment
Use synonyms
 and its wildlife, even if it restricts human activity and progress.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, nowadays there are many reasons that keep natural resources assist world economy.
Firstly
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, it can make
the
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apply
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life easier.
In other words
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, rivers can help
people
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 to transfer stuff because is connect long
distance
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distances
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 with each other.
In addition
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,
due to
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 supply
chine
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chain
, the
economic
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economy
 could
refresh
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be refreshed
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.
For example
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, Egyptian
people
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 use the Nile
river
Capitalize the proper name
River
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 commercially
,
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apply
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 to transfer shipments to whole countries in Africa.
Body paragraph 2
In terms of
the
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apply
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ecological balance protection, without the ecosystems, humans cannot
be
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apply
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live
healthy
Rephrase
healthily
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.
it
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It
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 is possible to say that the natural
environment
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 and its wildlife and agriculture can destroy the
pollutions
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pollution
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.
Moreover
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,
human
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humans
show examples
 can
organize
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organise
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 their activities without
disturb
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disturbing
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 or harming
the natural
Replace the word
nature
.
For instance
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, in
Kingdom
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the Kingdom
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 of Saudi Arabia, the government create the natural security to protect all plant spaces, and
as a result
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 of that,
people
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 appreciate the
environment
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 and respect guidelines.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are many purposes of natural resources to support human development and economic growth.
it
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It
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 is
also
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 true that it is essential to protect the natural
environment
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 and its wildlife. and secure the agriculture. I completely agree that it is more important
humans
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for humans
show examples
live
Verb problem
to live
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 a healthy and safe life, even if it restricts the activity and progress.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view. This is good. However, the first view needs a fuller explanation. Say more clearly how forests, rivers, and other resources help jobs, trade, food, and energy.
task response
Your opinion is clear at the end: nature should be protected, even when this limits growth. State this view in the introduction too, so the reader knows your main position from the start.
task response
Some ideas are too general or unclear. For example, explain how wildlife and plants help people live well, such as by giving clean air, clean water, food, and a safe natural system.
task response
The examples about the Nile and Saudi Arabia are useful and on topic. Make each example stronger by showing exactly how it proves the point in that paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear basic plan: introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Keep this plan, but make the main idea of each paragraph more direct in its first sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly. For example, after saying rivers help move goods, explain that this can lower the cost of trade and help business grow. Do not move to a new idea too quickly.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'For example' are helpful, but the ideas after them must be complete and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear phrases such as 'the economic could refresh', 'natural security', and 'destroy the pollutions'. Use simple, direct wording so the reader can understand your meaning at once.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, give a short summary of both views before restating your opinion. Also, begin sentences with capital letters, including 'It' and 'And' when needed.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain the use of natural resources, the need to protect nature, and your own view.
task response
Your use of the Nile River is a relevant real-world example of how a river can support trade and human life.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is divided into clear paragraphs, and the conclusion gives a definite final view.
coherence and cohesion
You use several helpful signposts, such as 'To begin with', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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