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Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates the proportion of how much three music methods were purchased from 2011 to 2018.

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The line graph illustrates the proportion of how much three music methods were purchased from 2011 to 2018.
The line graph illustrates the proportion of purchases between three different music methods over a 7-year
period
Use synonyms
, from 2011 to 2018. Units are measured in
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that CDs
purchased
Verb problem
were purchased
show examples
 the highest
Use synonyms
method
Check wording
apply
show examples
in sales at the beginning of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 declined gradually
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Downloads
Add an article
the Downloads
show examples
method
Use synonyms
 experienced an upward trend of sales,
while
Linking Words
 Streams had some fluctuations
purchases
Change preposition
in purchases
show examples
 during the
peeriod
Correct your spelling
period
. In terms of CDs purchased, it recorded its highest figure
roughly
Change preposition
of roughly
show examples
 55% in 2011,
then
Linking Words
 it fased drop in the following years to reach approximately 25% in 2018.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Streams
Add an article
the Streams
show examples
method
Use synonyms
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 with its lowest figure, reaching nearly 5% in 2011. After that, it
faced a
Verb problem
experienced
show examples
 considerable growth to
be
Verb problem
become
show examples
 the highest
method
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
, which was recorded roughly to 42% in 2018. Turning to Downloads, it started to reach 35% in 2011,
then
Linking Words
 it showed a slight increase
nearly
Change preposition
to nearly
show examples
 to 43% in 2014.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
method
Use synonyms
 experienced
downward
Add an article
a downward
show examples
 trend
to be
Change preposition
of
show examples
 approximately 30% in the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, method with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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