IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

5.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
The results of a survey on
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea purchasing and drinking habits among people in five Australian
cities
Use synonyms
 are illustrated by the given bar chart.
Body paragraph 1
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, regarding café visits,
this
Linking Words
 was the most popular
habit
Use synonyms
 in four of the five
cities
Use synonyms
 during the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks. Melbourne and Hobart had the highest figures, at approximately 63%, followed by Sydney at 60%. In Brisbane, around 55% of people had the
habit
Use synonyms
 of visiting cafés.
Body paragraph 2
In terms of buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 was the least popular
habit
Use synonyms
 in all five Australian
cities
Use synonyms
. Brisbane and Adelaide had the lowest percentages, at approximately 34%, followed by Hobart at 38%. In Sydney and Melbourne, around 41% of people purchased fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that visiting cafés was the most popular
habit
Use synonyms
 in most Australian
cities
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, Melbourne and Hobart had the highest percentages of café visitors,
whereas
Linking Words
 purchasing fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was least common in Brisbane and Adelaide.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response
Add the missing part of the chart: the figures for buying instant coffee. This is needed to give a full report of the main data.
Task response
Give a clearer overall view of the two main patterns. For example, say that going to a café was highest in most cities, while fresh coffee was the lowest in every city.
Task response
Make more key comparisons. Include Adelaide for café visits, and compare instant coffee with fresh coffee in each city or group of cities.
Coherence and cohesion
Your report has a clear order: café visits first, then fresh coffee, then an overall view. Keep this clear plan.
Coherence and cohesion
Put the overall view just after the first sentence. Then use two body parts to report the details.
Coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same main idea again in the last part. Use that space for a wider comparison from the chart.
Coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words such as "while", "however", and "by contrast" to show how the figures are different.
Task response
You report the main pattern for café visits and give clear figures for Melbourne, Hobart, Sydney, and Brisbane.
Task response
You correctly point out that buying fresh coffee was the least common habit in all five cities.
Coherence and cohesion
The ideas are easy to follow, and the city figures are grouped in a clear way.
Coherence and cohesion
You use useful report words such as "overall", "followed by", and "whereas" to connect ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trend
  • Pattern
  • Fluctuation
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Comparison
  • Relationship
  • Correlation
  • Significant
  • Implication
  • Prediction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: