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Band 3.5

#Essays #Task2 In some countries younger people are increasingly losing interest in teaching. Why is this happening? What can be done to improve the situation? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your own experience.

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Introduction
Around the world
teaching
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, teaching
show examples
 is one of the most important careers.
However
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, it is recognised that
young
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the young
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 generation
are
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is
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 gradually reducing its attraction. Several reasons for
this
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phenomena
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phenomenon
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 are
disscused
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discussed
 in
this
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 essay,
as well as
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 ways to improve it.
Body paragraph 1
Low
salaries
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 and social status are the main reasons why young adults are not into teaching.
Although
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 over the years most professions have an increment in their
salaries
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, the effort made by teachers is not reflected in
its
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their
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income's
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income
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.
For example
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, a professor has not only to prepare a class but
also
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 mark exams, and
assesments
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assessments
, which increase their work hours. In
addittion
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addition
, unfortunately, in comparison with
others
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other
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 careers
such
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 as medicine
,
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apply
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 and
enginnering
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engineering
, teaching is
consider
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considered
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 a less prestigious profession.
Body paragraph 2
Even though
,
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apply
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 teenagers are choosing
less teaching as their profession
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teaching as their profession less
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, the reality is that
this
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 trend can be reversed by
incrementing
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increasing
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salaries
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 and social
campaings
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campaigns
.
A better
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Better
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 pay will bring the attention of people who already
has
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have
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 an educational vocation,
while
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 promoting social
campaings
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campaigns
 in schools could change
the
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apply
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people
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people's
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 perspective of teaching.
Conclusion
To
sumarise
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summarise
, most young
generation
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generations
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 are reducing
its
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their
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 interest in becoming teachers because of low
salaries
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 and social prestige.
However
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,
globla
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global
 entities
such
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 as the government
,
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apply
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 should promote social
campaings
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campaigns
,and increase
teacher's
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teachers'
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 payment, aiming to bring
people
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people's
show examples
 attention.

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Task response
Answer both parts in more depth. You explain low pay and low respect well, but add one more clear reason, such as long work hours or hard class control.
Task response
Make your ideas more full. Explain why low pay makes young people choose other jobs, and explain how better pay and school talks would bring more people into teaching.
Task response
Use a more real and clear example from your own life. For example, write about a teacher you know who works late to plan lessons and mark work.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep this plan, but make the first line more direct: say that fewer young people want to become teachers.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. “Even though” does not fit at the start of the third paragraph. Use “However” or “To deal with this problem” instead.
Coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the first body paragraph, state low pay and low social respect, then give a short reason and example for each one.
Coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same words, such as “young generation” and “teaching”. Use “young people”, “teachers”, and “the job” when the meaning is clear.
Task response
You answer both questions: why young people do not choose teaching and what can be done.
Task response
Your main ideas are relevant: low pay, low social respect, better pay, and school campaigns.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful links, such as “For example”, “In addition”, and “To summarise”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial incentives
  • social status
  • prestigious
  • workload
  • stress
  • bureaucratic demands
  • work-life balance
  • career advancement
  • career progression
  • ambitious
  • support and resources
  • classroom supplies
  • administrative assistance
What to do next:
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