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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to live in hot climate while others love to live in countries with cold weather discuss both views and give your opinion

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Introduction
The issue of whether
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
hot
Add an article
a hot
show examples
climate
Use synonyms
 is a good
idea
Use synonyms
 has
the
Verb problem
been the
show examples
 subject of considerable debate in recent years.Some people believe that
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
hot
Add an article
a hot
show examples
climate
Use synonyms
 is better than
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in cold
weather
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beneficial
notion
Check wording
apply
show examples
to live in countries with cold
weather
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both perspectives before offering my own opinion.
Although
Linking Words
 both arguments have their merits,I firmly believe that it is
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 useful
idea
Use synonyms
 to live in
hot
Add an article
a hot
show examples
climate
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand,those who advocate that
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in cold
weather
Use synonyms
 is a beneficial
idea
Use synonyms
 argue that many people can make marvellous
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
.The main reason is that the
weather
Use synonyms
 can be suitable for camping and hiking.
For instance
Linking Words
,if a family wants to spend a good time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
vaction
Correct your spelling
vacation
,the family can take a trip to the forest and have a barbecue.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the cold
weather
Use synonyms
 not only enables outdoor activities
such
Linking Words
 as camping and hiking, but
also
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it create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 optimal
tempareature
Correct your spelling
temperature
 for growing plants.
However
Linking Words
,many
agricultures
Check wording
agriculturists
show examples
 have a huge passion when the winter
season
Use synonyms
 is coming because the crops are produced quickly.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,many who hold the belief that hot
climate
Use synonyms
 is better than cold
weather
Use synonyms
 emphasise that many people suffer from
deprssion
Correct your spelling
depression
 in the winter
season
Use synonyms
.The main reason is that in the winter
season
Use synonyms
 the
houres
Correct your spelling
hours
 of
night time
Correct your spelling
nighttime
 are longer than in the summer
season
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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,many individuals prefer the hot
climate
Use synonyms
 because they can go to the beach therfore that can swim.
For example
Linking Words
.
if
Capitalize the word
If
show examples
 a
scienctist
Correct your spelling
scientist
 is
intersted
Correct your spelling
interested
 in marine,he can
explor
Correct your spelling
explore
 and search in the summer
season
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
while
Linking Words
 there are valid arguments on both sides,I firmly believe that it is a
magnificant
Use the right word
magnificent
show examples
idea
Use synonyms
 to live in
hot
Add an article
a hot
show examples
climate
Use synonyms
.The reasons outlined above clearly demonstrate that
individauls
Correct your spelling
individuals
 can go to the beach and scientists can do their searches.

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task response
You answer both sides and give your own view. To make your answer stronger, explain why hot places are better for daily life, not only for going to the beach.
task response
Some ideas need more care. Cold weather may be good for hiking, but camping and barbecues are not always easier in winter. Choose ideas that clearly fit cold countries, such as snow sports, less heat, or better sleep.
task response
Your example about a scientist is too short and not very clear. Give a more common example, such as families using warm weather for outdoor life all year.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make each main point follow one simple path: point, reason, example, result.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Do not join too many ideas in one long sentence. For example, write: “Cold weather is also good for farming. Some plants grow well in lower heat.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph sum up your two main reasons more clearly. At present, it repeats only the beach and science example, so it does not fully show your view.
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and spelling because they can make your meaning hard to follow. For example, use “living in a hot climate”, “activities”, “holiday”, “therefore”, and “hours”.
task response
You discuss both hot and cold weather and clearly state that you prefer a hot climate.
coherence and cohesion
The use of “On one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “To sum up” helps the reader follow the main parts of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You give examples about family trips, beaches, and work, which helps make your ideas less general.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • hot climate
  • cold weather
  • warm temperatures
  • freezing conditions
  • mild climate
  • extreme weather
  • year-round sunshine
  • outdoor lifestyle
  • winter sports
  • snow-covered landscapes
  • seasonal changes
  • heating costs
  • air conditioning
  • heat-related illness
  • dehydration
  • comfortable temperature
  • daily routine
  • quality of life
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