Some people believe that advertising has a negative effect on people's values and encourages a materialistic society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Commercial messages now surround us from the moment we wake, on billboards, screens and the clothing of strangers in the street.
While
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it is often argued that
this
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constant persuasion corrupts our priorities and turns citizens into mere consumers, I only partly agree, because advertising certainly exploits human insecurity, yet the values it feeds on existed long before the first poster was printed.
Body paragraph 1
Admittedly, the case against the industry is strong. The most troubling practice is the deliberate link between products and feelings they cannot provide, so that a perfume promises love and a watch promises respect. Because
such
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messages are repeated thousands of times a year, people gradually come to believe that buying is the path to a better life, and
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consequently
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consequently,
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many spend beyond their means chasing a satisfaction that never arrives. Closely linked to
this
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is the pressure placed on the young. Teenagers in Casablanca,
for instance
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, increasingly judge one another by the brands they wear, and those whose families cannot afford them feel excluded from their own classrooms.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, blaming marketing alone for materialism misunderstands where the problem lies. The desire to display wealth and status is as old as human society itself, and long before television existed, people competed through the size of their houses and the quality of their horses. Commercials did not invent
this
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instinct; they merely discovered how to profit from it.
Moreover
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, the same tools can promote entirely different values. Campaigns against smoking, for road safety and for blood donation use identical techniques to persuade people towards generosity and care rather than consumption. The problem,
in other words
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, is not the method but the message, and a society that regulates what may be advertised can keep the technique
while
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limiting its harm.
Conclusion
In conclusion, advertising undoubtedly amplifies materialism and preys on insecurity, especially among the young.
However
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, it reflects values that already exist rather than creating them, and with sensible
restrictions
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restrictions,
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its power can serve the public good as easily as private profit.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start: you partly agree. To make it even stronger, say more about how rules could limit harm, such as limits on ads for children or clear rules for false claims.
task response
Your ideas are full and stay on the question. The example of young people and brands works well. If you use a city example, make sure it is based on real facts, or use a more general example.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a very clear path: first the harm, then the other side, then a fair end. Keep using one main point in each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Links such as “Admittedly”, “Nevertheless”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas. Do not add too many more links; your flow is already natural.
coherence and cohesion
The end restates your main view and brings both sides together well. You could make the last line even more direct by saying what kind of rules should be used.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and keep a balanced view from start to end.
task response
Your main points are well chosen: ads can push people to buy, but they do not create the wish for wealth by themselves.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear job, and the ideas move in a smooth and easy-to-follow way.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives a clear view, and the ending returns to that view without simply repeating the same words.
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