IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to the company arrive. The manager has asked for suggestions on how the reception area could be improved Please write a letter to our manager. In the letter • Describe the complaints • Say why the reception area is important • Suggest how the reception area could be improved

6.5 / 9
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to propose some changes in the visitor's reception zone.
Due to
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 the fact of receiving several complaints regarding
this
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 area. The majority of complaints mentioned not enough chairs for visitors. For that reason, most people have to wait their
turns
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turn
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 by standing up.
Additionally
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, another issue is the long wait time.
For instance
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, one person mentioned that he waited for more than 1 hour, and because of that, he won't come back.
This
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 area is the first impression for most people because it is the first place they visit.
For example
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, if it is inefficient, it would reflect the same for customers. Based on that, the reception is the company's window for the rest of the world
,
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;
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 for that reason, it is important to give it recognition.
Finally
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, I suggest that more chairs should be added to
this
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 space,
as well as
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 adding another receptionist to reduce the wait time and improve productivity. I am looking forward to discussing these possible changes. Yours faithfully, Dani

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task response
Give a little more detail about each problem. For example, say how the long wait affects visitors and the company.
task response
Make your ideas more direct. Write: “I am writing to suggest changes to the reception area.”
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, such as “First”, “Also”, and “Finally”, to help the reader follow your letter.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Put all problems in one paragraph, why it matters in the next, and your ideas for change in the last.
coherence and cohesion
Use more natural forms: “wait for their turn while standing” instead of “wait their turns by standing up”.
task response
You answer all parts of the task: you describe the problems, explain why the area matters, and give useful ideas for change.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. The closing is polite and right for a formal letter.
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