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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below describes the structure of a home smokery and how it works.

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The diagram below describes the structure of a home smokery and how it works.
The provided diagram illustrates key information about the form of a home smokery and how it works.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the given image that the first
stage
Use synonyms
 and the second
stage
Use synonyms
 show the most prominent presence,
whereas
Linking Words
 the third
stage
Use synonyms
 displays a completely different trend. Focusing on the first part in detail,
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
stage
Use synonyms
 recorded the air entrance and pathway to the wood logs section.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
 witnessed a notable change, reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
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the second
stage
Use synonyms
 where the fire
burn
Correct subject-verb agreement
burns
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 the logs
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the air makes more smoke and fire. In the remaining part
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 detail, a distinct part can be observed. The third
stage
Use synonyms
 basically is a box full
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different types of food. Meanwhile, the food is connected with a piece of rope to a specific stick, before moving to the small entrance in the bottom corner of the
box
Punctuation problem
box,
show examples
 where the smoke and hot air
enters
Correct subject-verb agreement
enter
show examples
 to cook the food.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words stage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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