IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows Japan’s population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2040

7.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The chart below shows Japan’s population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2040
The line chart depicts the population of three
age
Use synonyms
 groups in Japan from 1960 to 2040
Overall
Linking Words
, the 25-64
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 remained the largest over the time period. Both the 25-64
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
andthe
Correct your spelling
and the
 0-14
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 witnessed a downward trend,
while
Linking Words
 the 65+
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 witnessed the opposing trend. The 25-64
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 started at approximately 64
million
Use synonyms
 in 1960,
then
Linking Words
 rose to the peak of around 70
million
Use synonyms
 in 1970. From 1970 to 1990, the population of the 25-64
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 fluctuated slightly
,
Add a semicolon
;
show examples
 after that , it fell significantly to 50
million
Use synonyms
 in 2030. After a decade, the 25-64
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 recovered to 54
million
Use synonyms
 by the end of the period. In 1960, the population
ofthe
Correct your spelling
of the
 0-14
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 started at 30
million
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of the 65+
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 stood at 5
million
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time. The 0-14
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 peaked at 34
million
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 decreased gradually to 19
million
Use synonyms
 in 2000. Between 1970 and 2000, the 65+
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 increased steadily to 10
million
Use synonyms
,
Add a semicolon
;
show examples
 after that, it surpassed the 0-14
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 in 2010. From 2020 to 2040, the number of
peoplein
Correct your spelling
people in
 the 0-14
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 dropped moderately to 9
million
Use synonyms
 in 2040,
in contrast
Linking Words
 that 65+
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 grew markedly to 30
million
Use synonyms
 in the same time.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: