IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree?

3.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
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Introduction
High
Correct determiner usage
A wide
show examples
 range of governments around the
earth
Check wording
world
show examples
 invest huge amounts of money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 art,rather than something more
benefecial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for enhancing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals. Many
people
Use synonyms
 disagree with
this
Linking Words
 question
same
Punctuation problem
, same
show examples
 as me.And now I am going to discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some of my reasons.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, that much money could
sove
Correct your spelling
solve
 any medical
sollutions
Correct your spelling
solutions
 of many
citisen
Correct your spelling
citizens
 who are living in a country.
For example
Linking Words
, the Australian
governments spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
government spends
show examples
 lots of money on medical
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
covered
Wrong verb form
covers
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 many
Canser
Correct your spelling
cancer
 cures for children under
age
Add an article
the age
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 of eleven
in
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for
show examples
 free. The parents will not
faceed
Wrong verb form
face
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 many financial problems after that.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 they give their own
people
Use synonyms
 many
psycologists vocher
Correct your spelling
psychologists vouchers
 to have some
setions
Correct your spelling
sessions
 with discounts to
encouraged
Wrong verb form
encourage
show examples
 them
always
Verb problem
to always
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 ask for help
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 these things
it means
Correct subject-verb agreement
mean
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 their statesmen care about their populations.
Body paragraph 2
Second of all, free education is more important than art, because if we have more educated
people
Use synonyms
 , we will face
more
Add an article
a more
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 informed
socaiety
Correct your spelling
society
.
when
Capitalize the word
When
show examples
 they
aware
Verb problem
are aware
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about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 what is going on around them, they would make better
disicions
Correct your spelling
decisions
 about themselves and their family members. For
intence
Correct your spelling
instance
, education In Dutchland is free
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they do not have any Illiterate
people
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In
conclucsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, art is important
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
but there are more noticeable issues that the politicians should think about
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.

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task response
Give your main view more clearly in the first part. Say that you disagree because health and education should come before art.
task response
Explain each main idea more fully. For health, show why money for care helps people more than money for art. For education, show how free school helps the whole country.
task response
Your examples help, but some facts are too broad. Use clear, believable examples and explain how each one supports your view.
task response
Talk about art a little more. Say why it is still good, then explain why it should get less money than health and education.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep this plan, but make the links between ideas smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words in a clear way: “First”, “Also”, “For example”, “However”, and “In conclusion”.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph start with one clear main idea. Then add an explanation and one example. Do not put many different ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear phrases such as “these things it means”. Write direct sentences, for example: “This shows that the government cares about its people.”
coherence and cohesion
Check key words for spelling and word form, as these can make your meaning hard to follow. Examples include “beneficial”, “citizens”, “cancer”, “education”, and “conclusion”.
task response
You give a clear opinion that public money should go first to health and education.
task response
You use two relevant main ideas: medical care and free education.
coherence and cohesion
The essay follows a simple and easy-to-see order: introduction, two reasons, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use examples to connect your ideas to real people, such as children and parents.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • art
  • money
  • government
  • fund
  • budget
  • balance
  • need
  • health
  • education
  • people
  • life
  • culture
  • city
  • public
  • work
  • job
  • value
  • benefit
  • idea
  • plan
  • result
  • access
  • equal
  • support
  • spend
  • care
  • society
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