IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently attended a conference and you would like to give a presentation about the information you gained by attending the conference. Write a letter to your manager asking for permission to give a presentation. In your letter: describe what type of presentation you have in mind what topics it would cover and how long it would take who should participate in the presentation and where should it be conducted

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about the conference that I recently attended at Loblaws Headquarters in Toronto.
This
Linking Words
 conference was organised by
pharmacy
Add an article
the pharmacy
show examples
 head of
Loblwas
Correct your spelling
Loblaws
 and Shoppers Drug Mart to inform about the Healthwatch system they are planning to introduce in all pharmacies. After participating in
this
Linking Words
 meeting, I am planning to give
presentation
Add an article
a presentation
show examples
 about
benefits
Add an article
the benefits
show examples
 and uses of
this
Linking Words
 system at our site. As
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 software can help us to boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity and contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 gaining more profits in the market. I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you allow me to organise
this
Linking Words
 meeting with our technical leads and
supervisors
Punctuation problem
supervisors,
show examples
 where I can pass information to them. We can conduct
this
Linking Words
 meeting at our company's conference room
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 it would take approximately two hours to explain
this
Linking Words
 new system and its operation. Please let me know at your earliest convenience. So, I can start preparing for the presentation. For
further
Linking Words
 details, you can contact me at my office email address. Yours
Sincerly
Correct your spelling
sincerely
, Muskan

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task response
Say more clearly what kind of talk you will give. For example, say it will be a short training talk with slides and a time for questions.
task response
Give a clear list of the main points: how the new system works, its good points, and what staff need to do.
task response
Ask for permission in a direct way near the start, not only at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: reason, plan, then place and time. Use linking words such as “First”, “Also”, and “Finally” to make the links even clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main point. Put the people, place, and two-hour time in one short plan paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use a more fitting close. If you begin with “Dear Sir or Madam”, end with “Yours faithfully”. Check the spelling of “Sincerely” if you use it.
task response
You cover the main needs: the type of system, the people who should come, the place, and the time needed.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is easy to follow, with separate paragraphs for the conference, the reason for the talk, and the meeting plan.
coherence and cohesion
Your tone is polite, especially in “I would appreciate if you allow me” and “Please let me know at your earliest convenience.”
The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • presentation
  • conference
  • information
  • topics
  • attend
  • participate
  • conducted
  • insights
  • key
  • trends
  • opportunities
  • team
  • manager
  • express
  • desire
  • benefit
  • share
  • suggest
  • room
  • atmosphere
  • questions
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