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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Robots are taking all jobs all around the world. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Machines are taking over all
jobs
Use synonyms
 around the globe. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. One
resaon
Correct your spelling
reason
 for
this
Linking Words
 is the public distrust of technology. Another reason is
some
Correct word choice
that some
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 require human
judgement
Correct your spelling
judgment
 over
robots
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Initially
Linking Words
, the common distrust of machines that the socitey have against
robot
Check wording
robots
show examples
 is a contributing reason.
Robots
Use synonyms
 are still unfimilar topic for some individuals
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 that leads to questioning the ability of their function or even if the result that they give is
accurte
Correct your spelling
accurate
. In
this
Linking Words
 decade, certain machine learning apps are popular.
For example
Linking Words
, ChatGPT and Gemini can provide answers for students that can help them in their homework or
emplyees
Correct your spelling
employees
 who need help
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their assignment.
However
Linking Words
, those answers can not
over take
Correct your spelling
override
 a job position of a certain employee. If a finance
analysist
Replace the word
analyst
 made a
mistake
Punctuation problem
mistake,
show examples
 the company can fire them or reduce their salary
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 if a robot made a
mistake
Punctuation problem
mistake,
show examples
 there is no one to blame.
Body paragraph 2
The second reason is
some
Correct word choice
that some
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 require human
judgement
Correct your spelling
judgment
 over
robots
Use synonyms
.
technology
Capitalize the word
Technology
show examples
 can help with
assignment
Add an article
an assignment
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 can not take over a job because most individuals will trust a doctor with
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 more than a designed app.
Jobs
Use synonyms
 that require years of
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
, for
instanse
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instance
, a judge, a doctor, or any job that needs
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
direct
intraction
Correct your spelling
interaction
 with customers are less likely to
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 taken by
robots
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, my position is still against the statement, for
few
Add an article
a few
show examples
 reasons
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
they are about
Verb problem
include
show examples
 the distrust of
roborts
Check wording
robots'
show examples
 orders,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 because there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 some
jobs
Use synonyms
 needs human observation more than a machine.

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task response
State your view clearly, as you do now, and keep all parts of the essay linked to it. Your two main points fit your view well.
task response
Explain each main point more fully. For example, say why people may not trust a robot doctor or judge, and what can happen when a robot makes a wrong choice.
task response
Use a more exact example. The ChatGPT example is useful, but explain why it can help a worker without doing the full job of that worker.
task response
Be careful with very broad claims such as robots cannot take over a job. Some jobs can be done by machines, so say that robots may take some jobs but not all jobs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep this simple four-part plan.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence of each body part a clear main idea. Then add an explanation and one example that directly supports that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way, such as “For example”, “Also”, “As a result”, and “However”. Do not repeat the same link too often.
coherence and cohesion
Make your end short and clear. Repeat your view and your two reasons in simple words. Avoid unclear phrases such as “distrust of robots orders”.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear view from the first lines.
task response
Your examples of doctors, judges, and work with customers are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has two clear reasons and a final summary.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Initially”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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