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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age of driving motorbikes or cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often argued that, people believe for increasing road safety, it is the best direction to increase the minimum legal
age
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 for driving vehicles.
This
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 essay agrees with
this
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 statement because the maturity level develops with
age
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 to manage a challenging situation, with a better understanding of advanced technology.
Body paragraph 1
The common belief of increasing road safety is that the expansion of the legal
age
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 limit
,
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apply
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 for operating motorcycles or cars is necessary to maintain the difficult environment. In midlife, everyone progresses their mental health in a better way than a minority. They know how to remain calm and balance the condition about the surrounding. A recent study showed that most car accidents are happend to drive by youngsters, who are under eighteen, and after the indicant they create less mental stability than the elderly.
Body paragraph 2
In
this
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 era, a massive development is depicted in automated vehicles.
This
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 upgraded version is more complicated
,
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and
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 comprehensible to the teens.
Furthermore
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, an adult has better knowledge about the new technology to operate the automobile. They can understand the difficulties of machinery and how to perform it in bad conditions.
For instance
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, a study stated that the growth of accidents are increased over the past years, the lack of proper driving knowledge with the new innovations by the underage public.
Conclusion
In a nutshell, raising the driving
age
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 would likely improve road safety because adults are generally more capable of handling
the
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difficult situations and are more familiar with vehicle technology.

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task response
State your view in a more direct way. Say that you agree, but explain that a higher age is only one part of road safety.
task response
Develop each main idea more fully. Explain why young drivers may take more risks, have less skill, or make fast choices in danger.
task response
Your point about new car technology is not fully clear. Older people are not always better with new technology. Use a stronger idea, such as more driving lessons, more practice, and safer choices.
task response
Use examples that clearly support your ideas. Do not use unclear study claims unless you can explain who took part and what the result means.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear topic sentence at the start of each body paragraph. Then add an explanation and one example before you move to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as “First”, “Also”, “For example”, and “As a result”. This will make the flow easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid long or unclear phrases, such as “maintain the difficult environment”. Use direct wording, for example: “drive safely in hard road conditions”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for key ideas. Choose “young drivers”, “older drivers”, and “road safety”, rather than changing these words in unclear ways.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear view that raising the driving age can make roads safer.
task response
You give two main reasons: adults may stay calm in danger, and they may have more knowledge about cars.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear basic shape: an opening, two body paragraphs, and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending repeats your main view and brings the essay to a clear close.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • road safety
  • young motorists
  • lack of maturity
  • driving experience
  • risk-taking behaviour
  • reckless driving
  • graduated licensing system
  • compulsory driver training
  • practical driving test
  • strict traffic enforcement
  • speed cameras
  • drink-driving checks
  • distracted driving
  • road safety campaign
  • heavier penalties
  • safer road design
  • reduce accident rates
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