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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age of driving motorbikes or cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often argued that, people believe for increasing road
safety
Use synonyms
, it is the best direction to increase the minimum legal
age
Use synonyms
 for driving vehicles.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement because maturity develops with
age
Use synonyms
 to manage a challenging situation, with a better understanding of advanced technology.
Body paragraph 1
A common belief among people is that raising the legal
age
Use synonyms
 limit for operating motorcycles or cars is necessary to maintain a safe environment. In midlife, everyone progresses their mental health in a better way than minors.
In addition
Linking Words
, they know how to remain calm and manage their surroundings.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they are able to aviod sever raod accident, with improved road
safety
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 facilities to postpone the underage people's licenses. A recent study showed that most car accidents are happend to drive by youngsters, who are under eighteen, and after the indicant they create less mental stability than the elderly.
Body paragraph 2
In
this
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 era, a large number of development is observed in automated vehicles.
This
Linking Words
 upgraded version is more complicated to comprehend for teens.
However
Linking Words
, an adult has better knowledge about the new technology to operate the automobile.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can understand the functions of machinery, with knowing how to operate it in bad conditions.
As a result
Linking Words
, the minimum
age
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 limitation has been raised to increase highway
safety
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study stated that the growth of accidents are increased over the past years, the lack of proper driving knowledge with the new innovations by the underage public.
Conclusion
In a nutshell, raising the driving
age
Use synonyms
 would likely improve road
safety
Use synonyms
 because adults are generally more capable of handling difficult situations and are more familiar with vehicle technology.

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task response
State your view more directly in the first paragraph. Say that you agree to a large extent, then give the two main reasons you will explain.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear link to road safety. For example, explain how young drivers may take more risks, react too fast, or have less skill in hard road events.
task response
Be careful with broad claims. Do not say that all adults know new car systems better than all teens. Explain that more age and more driving training can help, but they do not help every person in the same way.
task response
Your examples need to be more clear and real. Instead of saying “a study showed”, give a short road case, such as a new driver who drives too fast in rain and cannot control the car.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, one paragraph on age and risk, one paragraph on skill and training, and a conclusion. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one main point, then explain it and give one example. Some ideas now move too quickly from mental health to road safety and then to legal age.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with a clear job. “For example” should introduce an example, while “as a result” should show an effect. Make sure the next sentence really follows from the one before it.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about raising the age limit. Add a short point about other ways to make roads safer, such as driving lessons, road rules, and checks for unsafe driving, then explain why age is still important.
task response
You give a clear agree view and keep your essay on the topic of road safety.
task response
You use two relevant main ideas: better control in hard events and knowledge of car systems.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful links, such as “In addition”, “Moreover”, “As a result”, and “For instance”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • road safety
  • young motorists
  • lack of maturity
  • driving experience
  • risk-taking behaviour
  • reckless driving
  • graduated licensing system
  • compulsory driver training
  • practical driving test
  • strict traffic enforcement
  • speed cameras
  • drink-driving checks
  • distracted driving
  • road safety campaign
  • heavier penalties
  • safer road design
  • reduce accident rates
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