IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative developme

#businesses #emphasise #products #developme
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
before in their ads.
This
Linking Words
 trend is more popular and common in the world. In my opinion, companies have a penchant for stressing the novelty of their
products
Use synonyms
 in advertisements. I support that it will bring a positive
development
Use synonyms
 Use synonyms advancementevolutionexpansionimprovementincreaseprogressadditionadulthoodadvanceaugmentation It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. , it is a good way to promote the
development
Use synonyms
 of all parts of our nation. On the one hand, the willingness to buy
products
Use synonyms
 will increase. When
people
Use synonyms
 find
products
Use synonyms
 are updated version in some advertisements, they will buy new
products
Use synonyms
 immediately.
For example
Linking Words
, there are all kinds of smartphone ads when companies want to punish some new
products
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 believe that their smartphones are outdated, they will convince themselves to buy a new one.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend will improve the speed of message propagation. Meanwhile, It is
also
Linking Words
 a good action to promote the
development
Use synonyms
 of ad industries. Companies will pay attention to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 their propaganda method.
As well as
Linking Words
 it is
also
Linking Words
 a good way to increase the
development
Use synonyms
 of
economy
Add an article
the economy
an economy
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 hold the view that more and more ads include too much junk information. They believe that it brings a sense of upset especially when they want to watch the Internet to relax.
However
Linking Words
, there is more healthy and meaningful advertising nowadays. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 should support the
development
Use synonyms
 of advertising. government has introduced relevant management and support policies. It is
also
Linking Words
 a good way to improve the quality of
products
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and make our future better and better.
Submitted by 13230556086 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure your examples are more specific and directly relate to the main points. This will help in making your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, while your essay is generally well-organized, try to make sure all sections are equally developed. Give more space to supporting details.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively introduces and concludes the main points, clearly outlining the purpose of the discussion.
logical structure
You used a variety of logical connectors and transitions, which helped in maintaining a good flow throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: