IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many students graduate high school and decide to study overseas. Give the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.

2.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
The world has many changes today. because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life is easier than it was before. Many students choose to study abroad.
This
Linking Words
 essay will cover the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are multiple advantages of studying abroad.
First,
Linking Words
being involved with
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 cultures and exploring
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 countries is an amazing experience.
This
Linking Words
 is a positive and wonderful education in itself. Students learn to appreciate the differences in customs and
tradtions
Correct your spelling
traditions
.
Second,
Linking Words
Personality improvment
Correct your spelling
personality improvement
 as some people gain
confident
Replace the word
confidence
 after being abroad, Responsibility is one of
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
 things to learn
apart
Change preposition
as part
show examples
 of their family. Either new languages or
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 accent can be a nice
add
Replace the word
addition
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many disadvantages are there. Most people get into a depression. Leaving home, family and
friend
Check wording
friends
show examples
 is
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 difficult. Missing their families
with
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 a long distance. Some challenges students suffer from
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 being sick
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 no one looks after them.
Conclusion
In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 it is clear to see that as many
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advantages are more the disadvanges is. Student
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
 get
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 from those experiences and leave the
difeculties
Correct your spelling
difficulties
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You answer both parts of the task: the good and bad sides of study abroad. To make your ideas stronger, explain each point more. For example, say how a new culture can help a student in work or daily life.
task response
Use real or clear examples. For example, a student may learn to cook, plan money, and speak to people from other places. For the bad side, give an example of a student who feels alone when ill.
task response
Your last line is not clear. Write a simple final view, such as: 'In my view, study abroad has some hard parts, but its good points are often greater if students get help and plan well.'
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, a paragraph for good points, a paragraph for bad points, and an end. This is a good basic plan.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point a full sentence and add a short reason after it. For example: 'Students may become more confident because they must solve daily problems on their own.'
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not clear, such as 'Either new languages or new accent can be a nice add.' Use simple links like 'Also', 'For example', 'Because of this', and 'However' to show how ideas join.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same form in lists. For example, write: 'They can learn a new language, meet new people, and understand other ways of life.' This is easier to read.
task response
You give several useful good points, including new cultures, travel, new languages, confidence, and being more responsible.
task response
You also give clear bad points, such as missing family, feeling sad, and having no close help when sick.
coherence and cohesion
The words 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' help the reader follow your main plan.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph stays mostly on one side of the topic, which makes the essay easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: