IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better lime to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Over the past century,scientific and technological developments have changed the way we live
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as postponing the day we die.Some
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 belive that the present is the best time to be
live
Use the right word
alive
show examples
.I largely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because of improvements in healthcare and access to
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
,
although
Linking Words
 these
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 are not shared equally.
Body paragraph 1
The strongest reason is that modern medicine allows
people
Use synonyms
 to live longer and healthier lives.In the past,infections that are now treatable
couid
Correct your spelling
could
 be
fatel
Correct your spelling
fatal
,and
people
Use synonyms
 had fewer options when they
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 seriously ill.Today ,vaccines help prevent diseases,
while
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 effective medicine and improved surgical
method
Check wording
methods
show examples
 save many lives.
For example
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,
people
Use synonyms
 with diabetes can manage their condition with continue learning and enjoying lives.These advances give many
people
Use synonyms
 a better chance of reaching old age and remaining active.
Conclusion
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,modern life is not better for everyone .

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task response
Your view is clear: you mostly agree. However, the essay stops too soon. Add a full second body part about why some people do not get these gains, then add a short end that repeats your main view.
task response
Explain the point about unequal gains with one clear example. For example, poor people or people in far-off places may not have good care, safe homes, or fast internet.
task response
Make your first example more clear. Say that people with diabetes can live well with insulin, checks, and care. The words “continue learning” do not fit this idea.
coherence and cohesion
The start and first body part are in a clear order. Use a clear plan: opening, one reason to agree, one limit, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as “First”, “For example”, “However”, and “In the end”. Do not start a new point without fully explaining the last one.
coherence and cohesion
Finish the last body part. The line “Nevertheless, modern life is not better for everyone” needs more detail and a link back to your main view.
task response
You give a clear main view and a good reason: health care helps people live longer and stay active.
task response
The examples of vaccines, medicine, surgery, and diabetes are on topic and help support your main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening tells the reader what the essay will discuss, and the first body part stays on one main point.
coherence and cohesion
You use contrast well with “although” and “Nevertheless”, which shows that you can present both sides.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • quality of life
  • vaccines
  • antibiotics
  • global connectivity
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable future
  • climate change
  • online education
  • knowledgeable and empowered societies
  • privacy issues
  • mental health impacts
  • economic and societal inequalities
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural shifts
  • traditional social structures
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