The bar chart below shows the number of men and women attending various evening course at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.

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The bar chart below shows the number of men and women attending various evening course at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the number of men and women attending various evening course at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.
The bar
chart
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illustrates the number of
men
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and women attending four different evening programs at an adult education
center
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centre
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in 2009,
while
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the pie
chart
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gives information about the age distribution of these course
participants
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.
Overall
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, women outnumbered
men
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in three out of the four courses, with sculpture being the only subject that attracted more male
participants
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.
Additionally
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, individuals aged 50 or over represented the largest proportion of
participants
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,
whereas
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those under 20 made up the smallest group. Regarding the bar
chart
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, language had the highest female enrolment at 40
participants
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, which was double the number of male attendees (20). In painting, women
also
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formed the majority with 30
participants
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compared to around 25
men
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.
Similarly
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, 20 females took part in drama,
whereas
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only 10 males joined.
In contrast
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, sculpture was the only course dominated by
men
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, accounting for 10 male students compared to roughly 5 females. Turning to the pie
chart
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, people aged 50 or over constituted the largest age category at 42%, followed by the 40–49 group, which stood at 26%. Meanwhile,
participants
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aged 30 to 39 comprised 16% of the total.
Finally
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, the youngest age groups accounted for the smallest figures, with the 20–29 category at 11% and those aged under 20 representing just 5%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, men, participants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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