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Writing Samples
Band 5

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

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The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
The given maps illustrate the present view of
Norbiton
Add an article
the Norbiton
show examples
 industrial
area
Use synonyms
 and its planned developments.
Overall
Linking Words
, the industrial
area
Use synonyms
currently
Verb problem
is currently
show examples
 placed
South to
Change preposition
south of
show examples
 the river and farmland and East to town. With the proposed developments inductrial
area
Use synonyms
 will
demolish
Wrong verb form
be demolished
show examples
 and modify as a town. In present day industrial
area
Use synonyms
 have eight factory buildings. There is a direct entrance from the main
road
Use synonyms
 to the Industrial
area
Use synonyms
. Just after the
entrance
Punctuation problem
entrance,
show examples
 there is a
round
Use synonyms
 a
bout
Use synonyms
 placed, with a
one
Correct word choice
single
show examples
exit
Use synonyms
.
three
Capitalize the word
Three
show examples
 of the factories
places
Correct subject-verb agreement
are placed
show examples
 around the
round
Use synonyms
 a
bout
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 four of the factories
placed
Verb problem
are placed
show examples
 beside the
exit
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 two factories
each
Change preposition
on each
show examples
 side of the
road
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Last
Add an article
The last
show examples
 factory
place
Verb problem
is
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
road
Use synonyms
. With the planned modifications, small
round
Use synonyms
 a
bout
Use synonyms
 was proposed to enter
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the town.
New
Add an article
The new
show examples
 medical
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 will take place right after the entrance.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the
show examples
previous
round
Use synonyms
 a
bout
Use synonyms
 will
extend
Wrong verb form
be extended
show examples
 with two additional extits one of the
exit
Use synonyms
 connects housing scheme in the farmland with a bridge.
Shoping center
Correct your spelling
Shopping centre
 will
placed
Verb problem
be placed
show examples
 near the previous
round
Use synonyms
 a
bout
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 other newly proposed
exit
Use synonyms
 directs to
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
. Previous
exit
Use synonyms
 will remain
unchange
Correct word choice
unchanged
show examples
,
nevertheless
Linking Words
 old factory buildings
remove form the proposal and will build
Correct word order
will be removed from the proposal and
show examples
 new 3 housing schemes
beside
Verb problem
will be built beside
show examples
 the
road
Use synonyms
 and
adds
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a new subroad
to
Verb problem
will be added to
show examples
 North in between
of
Change preposition
the
show examples
 two housing buildings
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Use synonyms
road
Add an article
the road
show examples
ends
Wrong verb form
will end
show examples
 with the School building.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, road, round, bout, exit with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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