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Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, as cities grow, more money is spent on the urban transport system and little is spent on the rural ones. What are the problems creating it? What are the solutions to these problems?

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While
Linking Words
 urban development incentives
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 growth, remote rural
areas
Use synonyms
 receive small investments
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 transportation. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both scenarios and potential solutions for the unfolding consequences of transportation growth on urban and rural
areas
Use synonyms
. High investments
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the transportation system in urban
areas
Use synonyms
generates
Correct subject-verb agreement
generate
show examples
 more capital
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the city,
such
Linking Words
 as growth in the job market, attracting new investors and boosting property development as well.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some benefits,
over investing
Correct your spelling
overinvesting
 in specific cities
instead
Linking Words
 of investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 rural
areas
Use synonyms
 could overcrowd

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task response
Your answer is not finished. You need to explain both the problems and the solutions. Add a clear ending that brings your main ideas together.
task response
The first main idea says that city transport can bring jobs, money, and new homes. Explain more clearly how this causes a problem for people in the countryside.
task response
Give at least one clear example. For example, poor roads in small towns can make it hard for people to get to work, school, or hospital.
task response
Add solutions with clear details. The government could spend more money on roads and buses in rural places, and make plans that share money fairly between cities and small towns.
coherence and cohesion
Your start shows the topic, but it does not clearly say what problems and solutions you will discuss. State your two main points at the start.
coherence and cohesion
Use one paragraph for problems and one paragraph for solutions. Begin each paragraph with a clear main sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not clear. Use simple linking words such as 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'As a result', and 'To solve this'.
coherence and cohesion
The last sentence stops in the middle. Finish each sentence and use a final paragraph to end the essay clearly.
task response
You understand the main topic: cities get more transport money while rural places get less.
task response
You give useful city benefits, such as more jobs, new business, and home building.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening tries to tell the reader what the essay will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
You use 'Although' to show a change from benefits to problems, which is a good way to link ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Public transport
  • Investment
  • Rural isolation
  • Economic disparities
  • Urban-centric
  • Subsidies
  • Sustainable transport
  • Integration
  • Community-based initiatives
  • Car-sharing programs
  • Volunteer driver networks
  • Technological advancements
  • Ride-sharing
  • Infrastructure
  • Real-time tracking
  • Private sector investment
  • Incentives
  • Transport infrastructure
  • Rural economies
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