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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
It is widely believed that doing something that has a risk is significant for individuals in their
career
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careers
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 and personal lives. From my
perspective
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perspective,
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 the benefits of taking risks
are outweighs
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outweigh
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 the disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
It is true that doing
actionwithout
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action without
 knowing the result is not easy. When you get the worst outcome, you may lose your self- esteem.
For example
Linking Words
, if you joined a competition and did not get the trophy, you
realized
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realised
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 there are a lot of people who are better than you, and you will think that you are not good enough. A similar thing could
also
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 happen during work
,
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;
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 if your proposal gets rejected by a client, you might feel disappointed
and
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, and
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 everything that you have prepared means nothing.
However
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, from my perspective, these are part of personal growth.
Body paragraph 2
The advantages of taking risks are significant. It leads you to discover new skills, learn from mistakes, and introduce you to how it feels to lose and succeed. From my own experiences, I once got the responsibility to become a leader in my school’s project. I was scared at first because I
never
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had never
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did
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done
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 that before. During the process, my classmates were having a hard time communication and I started doubting myself.
Fortunately
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Fortunately,
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at the end
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 of the
event
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event,
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 we
manage
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managed
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 to fix our
communicating
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communication
 style. I learned how to fix communication with my friends
and
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, and
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 somehow I really enjoyed solving problems
,
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;
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 it feels like finishing a puzzle.
Conclusion
Taking a risk means you step out of your comfort zone. You will not know the result if you never try. And whatever you will get, I believe
this
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 is for the best. If you do not make it
you
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, you
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 still have another chance and learn from what happened.

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task response
State your answer more clearly in the first part. Say that the good points are greater than the bad points, and give two main reasons.
task response
Explain the bad points more fully. Losing self-esteem can happen, but show why this is often short-term and how people can deal with it.
task response
Develop the main good points with clearer detail. For example, risks can help people get a better job, start a new business, or find skills they did not know they had.
task response
Your school project example is useful and real. Add one clear link back to the question: say how taking this risk helped you in your personal or future work life.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: bad points, good points, then a final view. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: “However”, “As a result”, “For this reason”, and “In contrast” can show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main point. In the second body paragraph, first explain the benefit, then give the school example, and then say what it proves.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph stronger by restating your main view and your two best reasons. Avoid saying that every result is “for the best”, because this is too broad.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear overall view that taking risks is usually a good thing.
task response
The example about leading a school project supports your ideas well and shows personal learning.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of paragraphs helps the reader see the change from problems to benefits.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion returns to the main idea of leaving the comfort zone and learning from the result.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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