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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Since it is so easy to reach a large audience on the internet, people have to be exceptionally talented to become famous these days. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It has been proposed that
one
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 who wants to become famous has to be quite good in some spheres, as it is not a big deal to build a community and get an audience online.
While
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 I agree that the academic skills can help boost an auditory, I have a belief that the most important factor is
one
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's ability to present themselves.
This
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 essay will explain why the skill on its own is not enough to become famous.
Body paragraph 1
On the
one
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 hand, a deep proficiency in something was always an advantage when trying to become successful.
For example
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, in the 20th century, people who wanted to participate in
the
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TV shows had to have a master's degree to prove their expertise.
However
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, nowadays, education is only
one
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 of the steps for an individual to build a self-brand.
As a result
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, there are dozens of individuals
,
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 who are experts in their sphere , but they can not build the auditory
due to
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 a lack of self-confidence.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, advertising or selling himself was always a required skill when reaching an audience. Most of the entrepreneurs show their lifestyle and share their thoughts via social media to build
the
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trust
of
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with
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 their audience.
This
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 leads to a situation
,
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 where people who do not have any special knowledge can become famous because of their vision and communication skills.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 I understand that it is a plus to have a good understanding of something to become famous, I am sure that it is not required if
one
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 can advertise themselves properly.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first paragraph. Say if you mostly agree or mostly disagree, then keep this same view in each main paragraph.
task response
Explain the key idea in more depth. Show why strong skill may not make a person famous online, and why good self-promotion may do so.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. The TV example is not fully clear, and the idea that TV guests had to have a master’s degree seems too broad. Give a simple example of two online people with different skills and results.
task response
Be careful with the question’s main claim. It says people must be very talented now. Your answer says talent is helpful but not needed. Make this contrast clear all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. To make the flow stronger, begin each body paragraph with a sentence that directly links to your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are too fast. For example, after talking about education, explain more fully how self-confidence helps a person get followers.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” work well for two sides, but make sure the first side clearly supports one side and the second clearly supports the other.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “audience” and “become famous” too often. You can also use “followers,” “online fame,” or “public interest” when the meaning is the same.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear main idea: being very good at something is useful, but self-promotion can matter more.
task response
Your second body paragraph gives a relevant reason about social media, lifestyle posts, and trust.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion returns to your main view and gives the essay a clear ending.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratization
  • gatekeepers
  • leverage
  • loyal fanbase
  • self-promotion
  • networking
  • virality
  • consistency
  • niche interests
  • mainstream attention
  • exceptional talent
  • content creators
  • platform algorithm
  • audience engagement
  • monetization
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