Some people say governments should give health care the first priorities,while some others belive there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayer's money.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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Introduction
Having a good
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
system
in a Use synonyms
country
benefit their citizens and the Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
both sametime
. Because of that Correct your spelling
at the same time
most
of the countries allocate masive heathcare budget to improve their Punctuation problem
, most
Use synonyms
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
care
Use synonyms
system
. But some Use synonyms
people
argue Use synonyms
government
money that comes from taxpayers should utilise to other Correct word choice
that government
sectors
equally. I Use synonyms
belive
both Correct your spelling
believe
openions
have pros and cons Correct your spelling
opinions
same
time.Change preposition
at the same
Body paragraph 1
By having massive
health
Use synonyms
care
budget helps to run medical operations and Use synonyms
its
research smoothly. Many countries Fix the agreement mistake
their
were experianced
that Wrong verb form
experienced
people
Use synonyms
gets
more Correct subject-verb agreement
get
dificulties
to get medical treatments Correct your spelling
difficulties
correct
time. Change preposition
on
This
breaks the whole Linking Words
system
in the county. Use synonyms
Linking Words
Furthermore
many Add a comma
Furthermore,
people
Use synonyms
hold
Correct pronoun usage
who hold
to get
medical appointments will affect their economy directly. Because of Verb problem
apply
that
the governments reserve Punctuation problem
that,
considerable
amount from Add an article
a considerable
budget
to run Add an article
the budget
its
medical Fix the agreement mistake
their
sector
. Use synonyms
This
will reduce the large waiting lists in the hospitals Linking Words
and
citizens Punctuation problem
, and
able
to get treatment sooner. Verb problem
will be able
Additionally
Linking Words
having
good Punctuation problem
, having
researches
and Check wording
research
train
medical staff Wrong verb form
trained
also
Linking Words
help
to prevent Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
Linking Words
this
issues.Fix the agreement mistake
these
Body paragraph 2
On the
otherhand
, only Correct your spelling
other hand
consider
the Wrong verb form
considering
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
is also
be a
problematic. To govern a Verb problem
apply
country
effectively, need a attention to all other Use synonyms
sectors
. Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
example
having Add a comma
example,
good
education Add an article
a good
system
helps to educate and improve Use synonyms
skills
of Add an article
the skills
people
again good transport Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
,
and Punctuation problem
apply
security
Add an article
a security
system
of the Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
few of them
. Those areas Correct pronoun usage
apply
Linking Words
also
equally important to run the Verb problem
are also
system
Use synonyms
flowless
. For Correct your spelling
flawlessly
this
Linking Words
government
allocations must Punctuation problem
, government
need to considor
other Verb problem
consider
sectors
as well. Overcome Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
issues
many governments plan Punctuation problem
issues,
proposal
beforehand. From Check wording
proposals
that
they find Add a comma
that,
what
Correct determiner usage
which
sectors
Use synonyms
needs
funds most and what Correct subject-verb agreement
need
need to
more allocations. Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
Feasibility
study will Add an article
A feasibility
helps
to utilise Wrong verb form
help
taxpayers
money into correct Check wording
taxpayers'
sector
.Use synonyms
Conclusion
As a conclusion, having a proper
system
Use synonyms
benifits
the Correct your spelling
benefits
country
numurous ways. To make Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
each
and every Punctuation problem
, each
sector
Use synonyms
need
to be Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
considor
properly. Correct your spelling
considered
Government
should identify what Add an article
The government
Use synonyms
country
need and where Check wording
countries
allocate
the Verb problem
to allocate
taxpayers
money Check wording
taxpayers'
correclty
. Correct your spelling
correctly
This
will Linking Words
brings
more Wrong verb form
bring
benifits
to Correct your spelling
benefits
Use synonyms
country
.Add an article
the country
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task response
You discuss both sides and give your view, but your view is not clear enough. Say clearly if health care should come first, or if money should be shared between health care and other needs.
task response
Make each main idea more full. Explain why health care should have a high place, then explain why schools, roads, and safety also need money.
task response
Use one clear real or made-up example. For example, say that long waits for care can stop people from working, while good schools can help young people get jobs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep this plan, but make the first line of each body part state the main point more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in a more clear way: “On the one hand”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “On the other hand”. Do not join too many ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are hard to follow because the wording is not clear. For example, change “This breaks the whole system” to “This can put pressure on the health care system.”
coherence and cohesion
In the last part, repeat your main view in one direct sentence, then give a short reason. This will make the ending stronger.
task response
You cover health care and other public needs, such as education, transport, and safety.
task response
You give useful reasons for health care funding, including shorter hospital waiting lists and better training for medical staff.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is divided into clear parts: an opening, one part for health care, one part for other needs, and a closing.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as “Furthermore”, “Additionally”, and “On the other hand”.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite