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Band 6.5

The charts below give information about the age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The charts below give information about the age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts illustrate
people
Use synonyms
 who
visits
Correct subject-verb agreement
visit
show examples
 Spain from
UK
Add an article
the UK
show examples
 in 1983 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 group of 35-54 accounted for
largest
Add an article
the largest
show examples
 number of visitors in both years
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 individuals that
age
Use synonyms
 beteen 16-24 recorded the highest increment over
this
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
. Eventhogh 50% of
people
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
visited
spain
Capitalize the proper name
Spain
show examples
 in
1983
Punctuation problem
1983,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figurs were reduced
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 15
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 points in 2003.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 above
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
55
Change preposition
of 55
show examples
record
Wrong verb form
recorded
show examples
 a
rose
Replace the word
rise
 during
this
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
. In 1983
this
Linking Words
 accounted
only
Change preposition
for only
show examples
 16%
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
this
Linking Words
 amount increased
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 10
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 points in 2003.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 younger
people
Use synonyms
 who
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
 between 16
-
Correct word choice
and
show examples
24 had only 4% of visitors in 1983
Linking Words
this
Add a semicolon
; this
show examples
 number increased
up
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to 15% in 2003.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, their were reduction on visiors
age
Use synonyms
 between 25% - 34% during
this
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 had 20% in 1983
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
this
Linking Words
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fell upto 4% in 2003.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who were aged lover to 15 had
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
 increment of 2% over
this
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
. That was 10% in 1983
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 in
2003
Punctuation problem
2003,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 was 12% in 2003.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • age distribution
  • age profile
  • visitor demographic
  • percentage of visitors
  • the largest proportion
  • the smallest share
  • a noticeable increase
  • a significant decline
  • remained relatively stable
  • accounted for
  • made up
  • was followed by
  • overtook
  • rose from ... to ...
  • fell from ... to ...
  • a difference of ... percentage points
  • younger age groups
  • middle-aged travellers
  • older visitors
  • over the two-decade period
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