IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You live close to be a restaurant and have recently been distributed by the noise coming from the restaurant in the evenings. Write a letter to the owner of the restaurant

8.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to complain about the persistent
noise
Use synonyms
 coming from your restaurant late at night. Almost every night, you host functions and events that disturb our sleep.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many residents in our neighbourhood have complained to me about the
noise
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, I have to start work early in the morning, but the late-night
noise
Use synonyms
 prevents me from sleeping, leaving me tired and frustrated the following day.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we have children who need to get up early for school, so the excessive
noise
Use synonyms
 after 10 p.m. is particularly disturbing for them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I have already spoken to the staff and manager of your restaurant, but I have not received a satisfactory response. I would appreciate it if you could reduce the volume of the music and ensure that events finish at a reasonable time. If the
noise
Use synonyms
 continues, I may have to lodge a formal complaint with the local authorities or the police. Thank you for your time. I look forward to your reply. Yours faithfully, Zarana

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task response
Add your address or say where you live, so the owner can see which home is affected.
task response
You could ask for a clear next step, such as a reply by a set day or a meeting with the manager.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a clear order. You can make the link even smoother by joining the two points about sleep and children in one short paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Try not to use both “Firstly” and “Secondly” when the two ideas are very closely linked. A simple link like “Also” may sound more natural.
task response
You clearly explain the problem, its effect on your family, and the action you want the restaurant to take.
task response
The tone is polite but firm, which is right for a letter to a restaurant owner.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, main points, request, and closing.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main purpose, and the greeting and closing are very suitable.
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