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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
The context about whether cars, buses and trucks will be
driverless
Use synonyms
 and people
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 inside will be only passengers is more
in
Replace the word
advantageous
advantages
Use synonyms
 or not. I believe that
driverless
Use synonyms
 cars do
better
Correct word choice
more good
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 than harm as they show technological advancement and more facilities.
Body paragraph 1
First,
Linking Words
driverless
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
whether
Punctuation problem
, whether
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 cars, planes, trucks and
buses
Punctuation problem
buses,
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 displays multiple
advantages
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including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 reducing expenses in
organization
Check wording
organisations
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such
Linking Words
 as
budget
Add an article
the budget
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of
Change preposition
for
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 drivers, as they can drive only
in
Change preposition
on
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 a certain route and the limitation of working time
, the
Punctuation problem
. The
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 company can apply
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 cost savings to reduce the
fair
Check wording
fare
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 for customers or use
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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 to develop other sections.
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
, for a private car, the driver can do more activities to do
while
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 travelling
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as attending meetings, relaxing or working
instead
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 of driving.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it tends to decrease human error
due to
Linking Words
 technological advancement and the security system. The accidents can be caused by many reasons
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
decision-making
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the decision-making
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 of the drivers and
environment
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environmental
 conditions, as
technology
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 can accurately detect and make a decision based on programming.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
multip
Correct your spelling
multiple
Body paragraph 3
le
advantages
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 of
driverless
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 vehicles, some people still do not completely trust and do not want to take a risk of depending only on the technological security system, leading to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 smaller number
using
Change preposition
of people using
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on
Change preposition
apply
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driverless
Use synonyms
 innovation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, vehicles wanting to implement
this
Linking Words
technology
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 must have thorough and professional programs,
Linking Words
also the
Correct word choice
as well as a
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 remote monitoring system
to
Punctuation problem
, to
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 ensure the customer.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the upcoming
driverless
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technology
Use synonyms
 displays enormous
advantages
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outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
that outweigh
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 the disadvantages in many aspects, but there are still
the
Correct article usage
some
show examples
 concerning conditions and should be
more
Rephrase
further
show examples
 developed to be trusted by people.

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task response
State your answer in a more direct way in the first paragraph. Say clearly that the good points are greater than the bad points, and name the two main reasons.
task response
Develop the bad side more fully. You write about trust, but also explain other possible problems, such as system failure, hacking, job loss, or who is at fault after a crash.
task response
Use one clear, real-life example for each main point. For example, explain how a bus company could lower ticket prices, or how a driverless truck could work all day without a human driver.
task response
Make sure every point answers the question about whether the good points are greater than the bad points. After each bad point, explain why it is still less important than the good points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, main body, and ending. However, the second body paragraph is very short. Give the two sides a more even amount of detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show the order of ideas: “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For this reason”, and “In conclusion”.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Break them into shorter sentences so the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same word for the main idea. Use “driverless vehicles” often instead of changing between “technology”, “innovation”, and “this technology” when the meaning may be unclear.
coherence and cohesion
Check unfinished or broken text, such as “multip le”. This stops the flow of the paragraph.
task response
You give a clear opinion that driverless vehicles have more good points than bad points.
task response
Your ideas about lower costs, more free time for passengers, and fewer human mistakes are relevant to the question.
coherence and cohesion
You use a helpful two-sided structure: good points first, then a bad point, followed by a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The ending returns to your main view and notes that safety systems need more work.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
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