IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Your colleague recently gave you a book. You had a presentation, and this book helped you in the presentation. Write a letter to your colleague. In your letter, • tell the topic of your presentation • why the presentation was important for you • how the book helped you in presentation

7.5 / 9
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Dear Mr Hashemi, I am writing to express my appreciation for the
book
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 you gave me to help me prepare for the presentation, which I found really useful and helpful. The topic of my presentation was the influence of technology on different aspects of people's lives during the
last
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 decade.
In addition
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, I had to explain the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 development. The main reason I found your
book
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 worthwhile was the examples in it, which clearly demonstrated the benefits of technology in people's lives
while
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also
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 critically introducing the drawbacks.
As a result
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, the
book
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 made me more informed about the importance of the presentation topic.
Furthermore
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, the
book
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 helped me in various ways, including writing a comprehensive introduction, providing statistics, and explaining the subjects in an effective way that allowed the audience to grasp the information. Thank you for your contribution and for the great
book
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. Yours sincerely, Mohammadreza Hadavi

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task response
Make the reason why the talk was important more clear. For example, say that it was for your job, a key meeting, or an important chance for you.
task response
Add one short, clear example of how you used the book in the talk. This will make your thanks feel more real.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order and is easy to follow. You can make it even better by linking the third and fourth parts more closely.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each part on one main point. The part about why the book was useful and the part about how it helped can be made more different.
task response
You cover the talk topic, explain how the book helped, and give warm thanks to your colleague.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Words such as “In addition”, “As a result”, and “Furthermore” help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are polite and fit a formal letter.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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