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Writing Samples
Band 7

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In recent years, the cost of living has risen rapidly
due to
Linking Words
 the economic downturn. Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that a high salary is the most important factor when choosing a profession. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some significant factors that need to be considered, I largely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view as a well-paid
job
Use synonyms
 can offer a great sense of financial security and career growth.
Body paragraph 1
Admittedly, when choosing jobs,
people
Use synonyms
 should consider various factors
such
Linking Words
 as
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction and commuting distance
apart
Punctuation problem
, apart
show examples
 from
income
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.
Job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction allows
people
Use synonyms
 to stay motivated to
work
Use synonyms
 in the long term.
For example
Linking Words
, doctors can
work
Use synonyms
 for a long time without burnout because they tend to be passionate about helping
people
Use synonyms
, and they feel a sense of fulfilment. In terms of distance, living close to the workplace helps them feel less exhausted after
work
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I still believe that a high
income
Use synonyms
 plays the most important role in selecting a
job
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because money is necessary in everyday life.
For instance
Linking Words
, individuals earn a living as they need to cover living expenses, support their families and even spend money on entertainment. Without a decent salary,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to have a low quality of life and cannot afford a well-balanced lifestyle.
In addition
Linking Words
, by having well-paid jobs, workers can save a substantial amount of money, contributing to long-term financial stability. Apart from financial aspects, receiving a higher
income
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 can
motivated
Wrong verb form
motivate
show examples
 employees to constantly improve their
work
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 performance and enhance their productivity, which leads to career advancement and personal growth.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 various aspects should be taken into account when individuals choose jobs, a higher
income
Use synonyms
 should be the top priority.

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task response
Your main view is clear: you agree that high pay is the top point. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why pay is more important than job love, short travel time, or other parts of work.
task response
The doctor example is useful, but it is too broad. Some doctors may still feel very tired or leave their jobs. Use an example that directly shows how low pay can make a person choose one job over another.
task response
Your point about career growth needs more support. High pay can push some people to work harder, but pay does not always lead to growth. Explain when and why this happens.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: other points first, then your main reason, then a short end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example, after the point about saving money, show how this connects to your final point about work growth.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences have too many ideas. Split them into shorter sentences so that each point is clear. This is most helpful in the last body part.
coherence and cohesion
Keep key words the same where possible. You use 'income', 'salary', and 'pay' well, but using one main word more often can make the line of thought even clearer.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same view from the start to the end.
task response
You give clear reasons for high pay, such as daily costs, family needs, saving, and a better life.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main purpose, and the final paragraph clearly restates your view.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as 'Admittedly', 'Nevertheless', 'For example', and 'In addition' help guide the reader through your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • job satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • personal fulfillment
  • financial stability
  • passion
  • quality of life
  • work-life balance
  • career advancement
  • societal impact
  • income disparity
  • material success
  • monetary compensation
  • wealth accumulation
  • economic well-being
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