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Writing Samples
Band 4

With a growing population, many countries believe that we should focus on producing gm foods. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?

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Introduction
Along with
Linking Words
 global warming and
growing
Add an article
a growing
show examples
 population,
food
Use synonyms
 shortage
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 one of the concerns among many countries. Some believe that
genetic
Replace the word
genetically
 modified (
GM
Use synonyms
)
Use synonyms
crop
Check wording
crops
show examples
 could
allivate
Verb problem
alleviate
show examples
 the
quo
Correct your spelling
problem
 mentioned through invented a harzed resistent plants to
Use synonyms
crop
Use the right word
cope
show examples
 with
extrem whearther
Correct your spelling
extreme weather
. But partial opponents may
critizise
Correct your spelling
criticise
 that
GM
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 might harm for peronal health and could
resulting
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
 in
labor explitition
Correct your spelling
labour exploitation
.
Ground
Wrong verb form
Grounded
show examples
 on these
controvesies
Correct your spelling
controversies
, the essay will examine
GM
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 from 3 pillers: social,
economy
Replace the word
economic,
 and
envermental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 perspectives to discuss
where
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
GM
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 is worth
for promotion
Replace the word
promoting
 to tackle the issue of
food
Use synonyms
 shortage.
Body paragraph 1
In terms of environmental
aspect
Check wording
aspects
show examples
, the
characteristic
Check wording
characteristics
show examples
 of
genetic
Replace the word
genetically
 modified
crop
Use synonyms
 is benefit for increasing
crop
Use synonyms
 yield with it harzad resistent attribites. Take an example of less developed countries like Indonesia.
Due to
Linking Words
lacking
Replace the word
a lack
 of advance agrucultural technology and skills
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as the unpreddictable disaster
such
Linking Words
 as
floodign
Correct your spelling
flooding
 and drought,
this
Linking Words
 will impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
crop
Use synonyms
havarse
Correct your spelling
harvest
.
Facing
Wrong verb form
Faced
show examples
 with the increased population growth,
this
Linking Words
 could potentially lead to
lacking
Replace the word
a lack
 of
food
Use synonyms
 and malnutrition.
However
Linking Words
, with planting
GM
Use synonyms
 seed, it can
be absorbing
Wrong verb form
absorb
show examples
 more water, pest are less likely to harm the
crop
Use synonyms
. The higher amount of
harvasted
Correct your spelling
harvested
 is boosted and the higher
capable
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
storage
of
Check wording
capacity of
show examples
food
Use synonyms
provided
Verb problem
is provided
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
Netheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, there are
serval
Correct your spelling
several
 negative influece associate with
GM
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
. It will contribute to worsen iindividual health
prblem
Correct your spelling
problems
. In
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
satge
Correct your spelling
stage
, it is still remain unkown of how
GM
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
crop
Check wording
crops
show examples
 may
deteariate
Correct your spelling
deteriorate
 health.
As some
Correct word choice
Some
show examples
 research
found
Verb problem
has found
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
if children who have intake gense altered soy beans in
long
Add an article
the long
show examples
term
Punctuation problem
term,
show examples
 had triggered puperty development. Aside from
this
Linking Words
, it will
attacking
Wrong verb form
attack
show examples
 kidney functionning as lowering the organs digested toxic component.
Terefore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, the
advocation
Replace the word
advocacy
 of eating
GM
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can nit
Correct your spelling
cannot
 ease the concern
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 some parents.
Conclusion
From
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 social economic perspective, the
monopulation
Correct your spelling
monopolisation
 of
GM
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
crop
Check wording
crops
show examples
 will cause
labour explitition
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 vicious cycle
.
Change preposition
of labour exploitation.
show examples
 Because of technologies protection,
GM
Use synonyms
 seed can only
plant
Wrong verb form
be planted
show examples
 once without

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task response
Answer both parts in full. You give some good points, but the last main idea stops in the middle, so the essay does not fully explain the bad side of GM food.
task response
Give a clear view in the first paragraph. Say if the good points are greater than the bad points, or say that GM food should be used with strong rules.
task response
Make each main point clear and explain it step by step. For example, say how GM plants can live through dry weather, how this can give more food, and why this helps poor families.
task response
Be careful with health claims. Do not state that GM food causes harm as a fact unless you can explain the proof. You can say that some people worry about long-term health effects.
task response
Add a short ending that sums up the good and bad points and gives your final answer.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, one paragraph on advantages, one paragraph on disadvantages, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Keep all following sentences on that same idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way: "First", "For example", "However", "As a result", and "In conclusion". Do not use too many long linking phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Make the example easier to follow. In the Indonesia paragraph, explain the problem first, then the GM plant, then the result for food supply.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Write shorter sentences so the reader can clearly see the cause and result.
task response
You discuss both advantages and disadvantages, which directly answers the question.
task response
Your ideas about more food in dry or wet weather and possible health worries are related to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction and uses separate paragraphs for different ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use signpost words such as "However" and "Nevertheless" to show a change of idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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