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Writing Samples
Band 3

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a hole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
Thers
Correct your spelling
There
 is no denying the fact that
rise
Add an article
the rise
show examples
 of social
media
Use synonyms
 has affected personal relationships and society as a
hole
Use the right word
whole
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.
While
Linking Words
 a commonly held belive that relationships and
socitey
Correct your spelling
society
 of using social
media
Use synonyms
 for
communication
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
take the
advantages
Use synonyms
 and outweigh the
disadvantages
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.
in
Capitalize the word
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will
analayes
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analyse
this
Linking Words
 topic from the pionts of
views
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view
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 and express the
advantages
Use synonyms
 and
disadvantages
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
On one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the must
advantages
Use synonyms
 is
social
Correct word choice
that social
show examples
media
Use synonyms
 makes to the people easier and fast to
cotect
Correct your spelling
connect
 with
eacth others
Correct your spelling
each other
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 you can call your friends
any times
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anytime
 and
any where
Correct your spelling
anywhere
.
in the
Correct determiner usage
In
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 other
words
Punctuation problem
words,
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 social
media
Use synonyms
 for
communication
Use synonyms
makes to the people closer
Correct word order
brings people closer together. In addition
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,
in addaition
Change preposition
apply
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the biggest
advantages
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for
Change preposition
of
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communication
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 privacy and sefety and
this
Linking Words
 technology
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is one of
what
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the things
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 we need
at
Change preposition
in
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 our
life
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lives
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.
Body paragraph 2
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other side the must
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 of using social
media
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 for
communication
Use synonyms
the people
Punctuation problem
. People
show examples
 can not meet each other and
closer
Verb problem
get closer
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 like before
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 you do not need to meet them for contect them just make a call
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 you can call anyone you need. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that
Use synonyms
disadvantages
Add an article
the disadvantages
show examples
loss
Verb problem
include loss
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 of fucus speial for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids
Morever
Punctuation problem
. Moreover
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, and creat some sleep
disrepution
Correct your spelling
disruption
Conclusion
In conclusion, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 no easy
to
Check wording
way to
show examples
 answer
this
Linking Words
 question
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 On balance.
However
Linking Words
 i tend that
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
advantages
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 communications makes easier and faster,
outweigh
Wrong verb form
outweighing
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 the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 makes loss fucus.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first paragraph. Say if the good points are stronger than the bad points, and keep this same view to the end.
task response
Develop each main point with an explanation and an example. For example, say how social media helps family members who live far away, or how too much screen time can harm sleep.
task response
Your ideas are on the topic, but some points are too short. Explain why privacy and safety are good points, because they are not clear in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: opening, good points, bad points, and ending. Put one main idea in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a clear way: “On the one hand” for good points, “On the other hand” for bad points, and “For example” before an example.
coherence and cohesion
Make your sentences shorter and clearer. Some sentences have too many ideas, so the meaning is hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat the same words too often, such as “advantages” and “communication”. Use words like “good points”, “bad points”, “online talk”, and “this way”.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of social media, which answers the main part of the question.
task response
You give relevant ideas, such as fast contact with friends and less face-to-face time.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use paragraph starters such as “On one hand”, “In the other side”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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