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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The most valuable skills learned are practical, rather than the ones we learn while in education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that practical
skills
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 are important in our lives.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that
education
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 is more valuable, I believe that practical
skills
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 are more useful in everyday life. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both points of view and explain my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, practical
skills
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 help
people
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 deal with real-life situations.
This
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 is because
people
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 can use these
skills
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 in their daily lives and at work.
In addition
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, practical
skills
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 help
people
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 solve problems and become more independent.
For example
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, learning how to manage money can help
people
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 save money and avoid financial problems.
As a result
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, practical
skills
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 can have a positive effect on
people
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's lives.
Body paragraph 2
On the other
side
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hand
show examples
,
education
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 is
also
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 important because it provides
people
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 with knowledge and helps them develop their careers.
For instance
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, doctors and teachers need to study at university to do their jobs properly.
Moreover
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,
education
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 helps
people
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 understand different subjects and develop their thinking
skills
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.
For
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this
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 reason, practical
skills
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 and
education
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 are both important.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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education
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 provides important knowledge, I believe that practical
skills
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 are more valuable in everyday life because they help
people
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 solve problems and deal with real-life situations.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first paragraph. You say that practical skills are more useful, but you also say you will discuss both views. Make it clear that you mostly agree, not fully agree.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain why money skills are more useful than school learning in daily life, and give one more clear example, such as cooking, home repair, or using online work tools.
task response
Your point about school is good, but link it more closely to the question. Show that school learning can also be practical, for example when doctors use what they learn to help sick people.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, one side, the other side, and ending. Keep this strong plan in future writing.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between the two body paragraphs. For example, start the second one with: “However, learning in school is also very useful in real life.” This will make the change of idea smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “practical skills” and “important” too often. You can use simple other words such as “these skills”, “daily skills”, “useful”, and “helpful”.
coherence and cohesion
Use “On the other hand” instead of “On the other side”. This is the more natural phrase for showing a different view.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear main view: practical skills are more useful in daily life.
task response
Your examples are on-topic. Money management is a clear daily-life example, and doctors and teachers are good examples of jobs that need school learning.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, and the ending repeats your view clearly.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words well, such as “For example”, “In addition”, “Moreover”, and “As a result”.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • hands-on experience
  • cognitive skills
  • foundational knowledge
  • real-world scenarios
  • internships
  • direct involvement
  • theoretical concepts
  • specialization
  • professional competence
  • holistic development
  • vocational trades
  • context-dependent
  • academic research
  • skill integration
  • practical application
  • immediately necessary
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