IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Topic: Global warming is a big problem the world has faced today. What causes this problem and what are the solutions.

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Introduction
The issue of global warming has become a significant concern in recent years. It is widely believed that global warming is a big problem which the world
has faced
Wrong verb form
is facing
show examples
 today.
This
Linking Words
 essay
wxplores
Correct your spelling
explores
 the
causes
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 problem and suggests possible solutions.
Body paragraph 1
One major cause is that industrial activities, which
significanlty
Correct your spelling
significantly
 affect the air and
Use synonyms
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
 pollution.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a factory
smokes
Verb problem
emits
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 a huge amount of carbon, the air might become unhealthy
to
Change preposition
for individuals to
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 smell
by individuals
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Another factor is the
deforetsation
Correct your spelling
deforestation
, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it difficult for the earth to absorb carbon dioxide from the air.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
deforestation
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 not only
causes
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 global
worming
Correct your spelling
warming
, but it
also
Linking Words
 impact on animal`s lives.
For example
Linking Words
, if several birds live
at
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in
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 trees,
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
Use synonyms
deforestation
Punctuation problem
deforestation,
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 the birds can not find
place
Add an article
a place
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 to live at it.
Body paragraph 2
One solution is
that adopting
Wrong verb form
to adopt
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 renewable
energy
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, which would help by replacing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fossil fuel by solar
energy
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 and wind
energy
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.
This
Linking Words
 can help to reduce global warming. Another solution is that the government can
strict
Verb problem
enforce strict
show examples
 conservation laws, which can assist in lowing the
deforestation
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the government imposes a fine on
deforestation
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deforestation
Use synonyms
 will decrease.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
,
the
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apply
show examples
global warming is a pressing issue
, by
Punctuation problem
. By
show examples
 adopting
to
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 use
renewable
Change preposition
of renewable
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as solar
energy
Use synonyms
 and wind
energy
Use synonyms
, and putting a strict law, we can address
th eroot
Correct your spelling
the root
causes
Use synonyms
 and work towards a better outcome.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question: causes and solutions. To make the answer stronger, explain more clearly how factory gases make the world warmer. Say that these gases keep heat in the air.
task response
Your main ideas are good: factory work, cutting trees, clean power, and laws. Add one more clear cause or solution, such as cars and buses, or using less energy at home.
task response
Some examples do not fully support your main point. The example about unhealthy air is about air pollution. Use an example about heat, such as carbon dioxide from factories making the Earth warmer.
task response
The bird example shows harm to animals, but it does not explain global warming well. Link it to the main idea: fewer trees means less carbon dioxide is taken from the air.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear plan: introduction, causes, solutions, and ending. Keep this four-part plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then explain it, give an example, and link it back to global warming. This will make each paragraph easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. You use “For instance” and “Furthermore” well, but do not begin many sentences in the same way. You can also use “As a result”, “Because of this”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences clearer. For example, write: “Factories release large amounts of carbon dioxide into the air.” This is clearer than “a factory smokes a huge amount of carbon.”
coherence and cohesion
In the ending, give a short summary of the causes and solutions. Avoid adding new words or ideas there. Check spelling, such as “warming”, “root”, and “deforestation”, so the meaning stays clear.
task response
You cover both the causes and the solutions, so the reader can understand your main answer.
task response
Your ideas are on the right topic. Renewable energy and laws to stop cutting trees are useful solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because causes come first and solutions come next.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs and include an introduction and an ending, which gives the essay a clear shape.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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