IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many supermarkets are selling more and more imported foods instead of seling locally produ byced foods? What are the reasons for this? İs this positive or a negative development?

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Introduction
Big markets are selling imported
food
Use synonyms
 products in the marketplace rather than selling locally produced foods. It is partially a positive development
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 inclination could be due
various
Change preposition
to various
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reason
Check wording
reasons
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 that will be explained in the upcoming paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
To commence with, the primary cause of
this
Linking Words
 is that
food
Use synonyms
 imported from foreign countries
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 relatively cheaper because it is produced on a large scale in countries with low labour costs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, modern transport and trade agreements make it easier for supermarkets to buy products from overseas.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, customers want a wider choice of
food
Use synonyms
, including fruits and vegetables that are not available locally all year round.
For instance
Linking Words
, many eatable like
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
raddish
Correct your spelling
radish
, cabbage, and spinach
,
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apply
show examples
 are not available
through
Change preposition
throughout
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 all seasons, but now people can buy them whenever they want because of international buying.
This
Linking Words
 trend is partly positive because customers can enjoy more variety and may pay lower prices.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 includes certain disadvantages that could not be overlooked. It could be illustrated by the fact that transporting
food
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
over
show examples
 long distances increases carbon emissions and
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 unnecessary packaging waste.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, local farmers may lose income and struggle to compete with large international suppliers.
For example
Linking Words
, many individuals are reluctant to buy things from local shops
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, due
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due to
Change preposition
apply
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which local vendors struggle to maintain their finances.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 firmly believe that non-native products can be beneficial for the customers and improve
finances
Add an article
the finances
show examples
 of the country, but it is a negative development if supermarkets depend too heavily on imports
instead
Linking Words
 of supporting local producers.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more direct way. Give clear reasons for more imported food, then say if the change is mainly good or mainly bad from the start.
task response
Make your main view the same in all parts. The first body says the change is partly good, but the end says it is negative if shops rely too much on imports. State one clear final view and support it.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain how low pay, large farms, and trade deals can make imported food cheaper. Then explain why this matters for shops and buyers.
task response
Use more exact examples. The example about radish, cabbage, and spinach fits the point about choice, but say where or in which season these foods are hard to get. The local-shop example should link more clearly to imported food.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: reasons, good points, bad points, and a final view. Keep this simple four-part plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example, write “However, there are also problems” before the second body paragraph, and make each paragraph focus on one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid long or unclear sentences. For example, change “transporting food to long distances increases carbon emissions and create unnecessary packaging waste” to “Transporting food over long distances increases carbon emissions and creates more waste.”
coherence and cohesion
Use the same key words in a clear way. Choose “imported food” and “local food” instead of changing to “non-native products,” “international buying,” or “things from local shops.”
task response
You answer the two main questions by giving reasons for imports and by discussing both good and bad effects.
task response
The points about lower prices, more food choice, harm to local farmers, and pollution are on topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay uses separate paragraphs for different ideas, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and final paragraph show your topic and your overall view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • imported food
  • locally produced food
  • large-scale production
  • lower labour costs
  • international suppliers
  • trade agreements
  • global food market
  • a wider range of products
  • year-round availability
  • seasonal produce
  • competitive prices
  • longer shelf life
  • transport costs
  • carbon emissions
  • food miles
  • packaging waste
  • local farmers
  • support local businesses
  • rely heavily on imports
  • environmental impact
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