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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Leaders of all kinds are often younger now than in the past. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative development? Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Introduction
Individuals in leadership positions nowadays are usually younger than in the past. The reason why they succeed in the younger
ages
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age
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 is that the educational system has been developed more significantly. The youngsters now are more flexible and tend to be more adaptable to updated high-tech. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is a good development.
Body paragraph 1
A major reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 now often study and learn in a more competitive educational environment
allowing
Punctuation problem
, allowing
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 them to increase their knowledge and develop their soft skills. The leaders now are mostly at
the
Correct article usage
a
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 younger age.
Besides
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, they are more friendly and
close
Replace the word
closer
 to their members than the traditional type of manager, so the members may find it easier to share ideas and work effectively with them.
Moreover
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, they know how to listen and encourage team members to share their ideas. That's why they can deal with different situations more effectively than their predecessors.
Body paragraph 2
The reason why I think
this
Linking Words
 is a good development is that the younger
people
Use synonyms
 who hold leadership positions
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 more developed the society is. In
consequence
Add a comma
consequence,
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 the young
people
Use synonyms
 now would be promoted to practice and work harder
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 could lead to a lot of success or great inventions in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
, peoples the
entertaining
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entertainment
 category now
are
Verb problem
apply
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prefer the leadership of
young
Add an article
the young
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 generation
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as the Schannel company
,
Add a semicolon
;
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 their
co founder
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co-founders
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 are more flexible and catch on the trend quicker than
mostly
Correct determiner usage
most
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 other industries because
he
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they
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 can
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is a great increase that the managers
now are
Correct word order
are now
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 often
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young
people
Use synonyms
than
Correct word choice
rather than
show examples
previous
Change preposition
in the past
show examples
 because they are more flexible and more friendly than
old
Replace the word
older
 leaders

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Give clear reasons why young leaders are common now, then explain why this change is good or bad with enough detail.
task response
Develop each main idea. For example, explain how better schools, online learning, and new work skills can help young people become leaders sooner.
task response
Use one clear, complete example. The example about Schannel is not finished, so it does not fully support your point. Choose a well-known young leader or a simple work case, and explain the result.
task response
Be careful with very broad claims, such as saying young leaders can deal with all situations better than older leaders. Explain that young people may bring new ideas, while older people may have more work experience.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body paragraphs, and an ending. Make the link between the first body paragraph and your main question clearer: it should focus first on reasons for younger leaders.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction; reasons; why this is positive; conclusion. Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the ideas are joined too quickly. Keep sentences short and complete. For example, say: "Young leaders often understand new technology. This can help their teams work faster."
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as "also", "however", "as a result", and "for example" can show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat "young people" and "leaders" too often in the same way. You can use "they", "these managers", or "this group" when the meaning is clear.
task response
You clearly state your view that this is a good change, and you give reasons linked to new skills, technology, and team work.
task response
You include ideas about better education, soft skills, and being open to team ideas. These are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion, so the reader can follow the main shape of your answer.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful links, such as "Besides", "Moreover", "For instance", and "In conclusion".
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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