IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You need to take several days off work for a personal reason. Write a letter to your manager. Explain why you need leave. State the dates. Explain how you will manage your responsibilities.

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Dear Mr Ahmed, I am writing regarding permission that I need for seven days off work for my daughter’s thyroid gland operation in order to take care of her during
recovery
Punctuation problem
recovery,
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 because she and I live alone. For your information, her mother died recently.
First,
Linking Words
the seven
day
Check wording
days
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 off that I need from 10 October to 16 October of
this
Linking Words
 month.
Second,
Linking Words
my responsibilities will be divided
to
Change preposition
into
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 three part
one
Punctuation problem
, one
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 part I will
mange it
Verb problem
manage
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 by myself before the days off, including data analysis, confirming
clients deal
Check wording
client deals
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, and
prepare
Wrong verb form
preparing
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 the file for next month.
Others
Correct determiner usage
The other
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 two parts will be
mange
Correct your spelling
managed
 by my colleague, Ali, including filtering the files of new clients for
deal
Check wording
deals
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, customer service, and hotline support after 4:00 pm.
Finally
Linking Words
, I would appreciate it if you could deal with
is
Correct pronoun usage
this
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 matter as soon as possible. Yours sincerely, Saif

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task response
Give the leave dates in one full sentence: “I would like to take leave from 10 to 16 October.”
task response
Say clearly that you have made a plan for all your work. Check that every task has one person who will do it.
task response
Use a polite and direct last line, such as: “I would be grateful if you could approve my leave request.”
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphs: reason for leave, dates, work plan, and polite close.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use “First”, “Second”, and “Finally” when the ideas are short. Simple links like “Also” and “During this time” will sound more natural.
coherence and cohesion
Use full sentences and correct forms: “seven days off”, “three parts”, “I will manage”, and “will be managed”.
task response
You explain the reason for your leave, give the dates, and describe a plan for your work.
task response
The tone is polite and suitable for a letter to a manager.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear greeting, body, and closing.
coherence and cohesion
The work plan includes useful details about your tasks and Ali’s tasks.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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