Study shows that many criminals have a low level education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is educate people in prison. So they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree.

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belief that individuals resort to crime
due to
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their inability to find or sustain employment
which
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, which
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is a direct result of not having adequate
education
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to pursue certain fields of work.
Although
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this
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may be true in some cases, the reality is that there are a number of reasons why one may resort to conducting criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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. These reasons include not only the lack of
education
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and employment resulting in financial troubles
but
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, but
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factors
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also factors
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like physical
conflict
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between people at home, in the common workplace, and in public, internal emotional
conflict
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, psychological troubles, and any combination of those. Crime can be committed by anybody regardless of their
education
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and financial status.
Therefore
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, to address the prompt at hand, I think that rehabilitating and reintegrating individuals who have previously committed a crime is much more complex than narrowing in on one particular viewpoint with two concrete, competing choices. I don’t concretely agree or disagree with the particular viewpoint expressed in the question;
however
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, I believe that the term “
education
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” in
this
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context is too vague and needs to be
further
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defined in order to come to a conclusion about it. I think that all prisoners should be receiving quality
education
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when it comes to Language proficiency, sciences, maths,
etc.
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etc.,
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to accommodate whichever career path they want to carry on in after prison, but I
also
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believe that they should be educated on essential life skills in order to be more “street-smart” and “emotionally-intelligent”.
This
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will be beneficial for
bothe
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both
themselves and the people around them. I
also
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believe that it is necessary for the prisoners to receive support like emotional therapy
,
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apply
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and
conflict
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management help so they
could
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can
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reflect on their actions, slowly release the weight of any burden they have been carrying, and responsibly deal with
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conflict
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conflicts
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they may have been facing. Supports like
this
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not only look out for the
wellbeing
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well-being
of the prisoner, but the
wellbeing
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well-being
of society as a whole.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first part. You can say that you partly agree: prison education is important, but it must work with help for mental health and family problems.
task response
Answer the key point more directly: explain how study in prison can help people get work and stay away from crime after they leave.
task response
Add one clear example. For example, a person who learns reading, maths, or a job skill in prison may be able to apply for work after release.
task response
Keep your main ideas close to the question. The points about therapy and conflict help are useful, but link each one to lower crime.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, one paragraph on education and work, one paragraph on other help, and a short conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and have many ideas. Break them into shorter sentences so the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words such as 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'For example', and 'In conclusion' to show how your ideas connect.
coherence and cohesion
Add a final conclusion that repeats your main view in one or two short sentences. At present, the essay ends with a supporting point rather than a full ending.
task response
You show a good understanding that crime can have many causes, not only low education or lack of work.
task response
Your ideas about job skills, life skills, therapy, and help with conflict are relevant to helping people return to normal life.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear main direction: education is useful, but it is not the only answer.
coherence and cohesion
You use words such as 'therefore', 'however', and 'also' to connect parts of your argument.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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