The internet has make many things in our lives simpler. However, it has also brought new threats. Do the advantages of using the internet outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction

There is an ongoing debate regarding whether the online platform is profitable for human beings or is dangerous for many generations.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of the

internet

Use synonyms

and provide a concluding view.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand,

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people'

Check wording

people's

show examples

lives are more convenient

due to

Linking Words

the fact that having access to the

internet

Use synonyms

can bring them useful

information

Use synonyms

. As an illustration, a person who

is lack

Wrong verb form

lacks

show examples

information

Use synonyms

on how to cook pasta can just turn on

Youtube chanel

Correct your spelling

YouTube channel

to watch a step-by-step tutorial.

Instead

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of going to the bookstore and

find

Wrong verb form

finding

show examples

a recipe to read and imagine the process, that person can stay at home, open an

electrical

Correct word choice

electronic

show examples

device that

connect

Correct subject-verb agreement

connects

show examples

online and search for the guidance. The

internet

Use synonyms

is a revolutionary

way

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for global connection, not only to knowledge, but

also

Linking Words

to each other. It changes the

way

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people

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used to communicate. Telephone, letters and

mails

Check wording

mail

show examples

are slowly replaced by social

medias

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media

show examples

such

Linking Words

as Facebook, Instagram,...

People

Use synonyms

around the world can connect to each other by going online, posting about their lives or messaging friends using online

chating

Replace the word

chat

platforms.

Body paragraph 2

However

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this

Linking Words

easier

way

Use synonyms

of communication can bring imense amount of threats if not controlled properly. Using social media, your life will not be private

Add a semicolon

;

show examples

it will be

opened

Replace the word

open

to the public. Not only

your

Verb problem

do your

show examples

friends and family know what you're doing, but

also

Linking Words

strangers. They can use that

information

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for harmful purposes.

Therefore

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, it is crucial to think carefully before sharing anything online.

Moreover

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, children who are not supervised carefully can go online and potentially meet with

people

Use synonyms

who can scam them or kidnap

Correct pronoun usage

them if

show examples

worse

Verb problem

comes to worst.

show examples

According to

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a study from

Havard

Correct your spelling

Harvard

University, 80% of the human trafficking cases originated from online

conversation

Check wording

conversations

show examples

This

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is an alert number for families who have teenage children.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the

internet

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has so many benefits for the world as it provides an easier

way

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for

people

Use synonyms

to access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

information

Use synonyms

and to communicate.

However

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, I strongly

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that it has brought more dangers than ever to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society as

people

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use it wrongly and uncontrollably.

Therefore

Linking Words

, governments should pay more attention to education on the use of

Use synonyms

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

, especially for young children.

duongmamie5198

Nov 3, 2026

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task response

State your main view more clearly in the first paragraph. You say you will discuss both sides, but the question asks if the good points are greater than the bad points. Say at once that you think the bad points are greater, and keep this view clear in the whole essay.

task response

Give more detail about why the bad points are greater than the good points. Your ideas about safety are useful, but explain why these risks have a bigger effect than easy access to information and contact with other people.

task response

Be careful with facts from studies. The Harvard study is very strong, but it is not explained or checked in the essay. A clear general example may be safer: for example, children may share private details with people they do not know.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear order: good points, bad points, then a final view. To make the links stronger, use simple signposts such as “First”, “For example”, “In contrast”, and “As a result” only where they help the reader.

coherence and cohesion

Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea. In the first body paragraph, information and communication are both useful, but they could be split into two short paragraphs or linked more clearly as two ways the internet makes life easier.

coherence and cohesion

Make the last paragraph match your main answer more fully. After saying the bad points are greater, briefly compare the two sides again before giving the point about what governments should do.

task response

You answer both parts of the question by giving clear good points and bad points about the internet.

task response

Your examples are easy to understand, such as watching a cooking video and the risk of sharing private life online.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.

coherence and cohesion

Words such as “On the one hand”, “However”, “Moreover”, and “Therefore” help show the change from one idea to the next.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

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The internet has make many things in our lives simpler. However, it has also brought new threats. Do the advantages of using the internet outweigh the disadvantages?

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some cultures, childre3n are often told that they can achieve anything if they try enough. What are the advanatges and disadvantages of giving children this message

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

All people should go to university, even if they are not going to use that education In their job. Do you agree or disagree?

People living in large cites today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?