In many countries, young people are spending less time participating in physical activities and more time using electronic devices. What are the main causes of this problem, and what measures can be taken to encourage young people to become more physically active?

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Introduction

In recent years, a growing number of young individuals have become less active in outdoor

activities

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. The main cause of

this

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shift is the widespread addiction to electronic devices among young

people

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However

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, one possible measure is to raise

children

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awareness

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through government educational campaigns.

Body paragraph 1

The main driver behind

this

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trend is that young individuals are increasingly addicted to smartphones, which has resulted in fewer teenagers participating in outdoor

activities

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This

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is because when youngsters use electronic devices, they tend to feel more engaged with digital entertainment, leading them to spend less time exercising. To illustrate, a study by New York University indicates a strong connection between the rise in electronic device use and the decline in young

people

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's participation in physical

activities

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This

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suggests that numerous youngsters find greater satisfaction in using smartphones than in participating in outdoor

activities

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Body paragraph 2

A significant solution to

this

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issue is for governments to raise

children

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awareness

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by introducing more educational programmes.

In other words

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, campaigns designed to educate young

people

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about the consequences of excessive electronic device use could encourage

children

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to participate in physical

activities

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and improve their lifestyles. By raising

awareness

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, young individuals may better understand the potential health problems associated with physical inactivity.

This

Linking Words

means educating them about the health risks of a sedentary lifestyle and encouraging them to exercise.

For example

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, an educational programme could explain these risks and encourage students to join school sports

activities

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Conclusion

In conclusion, addiction to electronic devices is one reason for the reduction in physical activity among young

people

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while

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raising

children

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awareness

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can be an effective solution.

i3b09d

Nov 3, 2026

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task response

You answer both parts of the question: you give a cause and a way to help. However, the cause is too narrow. Add other main causes, such as less safe play areas, school work, low cost games, or parents who are busy. This will make your answer more full.

task response

Explain why the government plan will work in real life. For example, schools could give more sport time, free clubs, and fun team games. Awareness alone may not change what young people do every day.

task response

Your examples fit the topic, but the New York University study is not fully explained. Give clear facts from the study, or use a simple real-life example instead. Do not make a study claim unless you can support it well.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear order: opening, cause, solution, and ending. Keep this shape, but make each body paragraph start with one direct main idea.

coherence and cohesion

Some ideas repeat, such as young people using devices instead of doing outdoor activity. Use less repeat and add a new point or a clear result after each main idea.

coherence and cohesion

Linking words like “This is because”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” are used well. Try to use a few more clear links between ideas, such as “As a result” and “For this reason”, but do not use too many.

coherence and cohesion

Be more exact with key words. The question asks about physical activity, but the essay often says outdoor activities. Physical activity can also include indoor sports, walking, dance, and school games.

task response

You stay on the topic and give a clear cause and a clear measure.

task response

The solution is connected to health and school sport, so it is easy to understand.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has one main purpose, and the ending clearly brings the main ideas together.

coherence and cohesion

Your use of examples helps the reader follow your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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In many countries, young people are spending less time participating in physical activities and more time using electronic devices. What are the main causes of this problem, and what measures can be taken to encourage young people to become more physically active?

With convenience foods becoming increasingly prevalent, it is believed they will ultimately replace traditional foods and methods of preparation. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the personal information of violent criminals should be made available to the public. Others think that this information should be proteced. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the care of elderly people should be a priority of government spending. Others believe that government spending should focus more on young people, especially on their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You recently returned from oversea by air and left a valuable item on the plane. Write a letter to the airline manager. In your letter .Describe the item you left behind .Say why it is important to you .Explain what you would like the airline manager to do